i feel like i am losing it, if i dont get it otgether soon i think i may lose my kids

[misdee]

i am ready for the onslaught now, but i need help. i was going to go annoyamos for this but there is no point

last week i accidently bruised dd1 arm. i picked her up near the top of her arms to move her quickly, and her arm is a mess. but i know it wont be belived as its so bad. i had been growing my nails and 3 of them cut in (she is heaveier than i remembered) as i moved her quickly (she is 7). basically i had all 3 kids screaming and frozen tio the spot after dd1 kicked the table leg out and threw 2 meals to the floor. i needed them all out of the way as milk was spreading everywhere(laminate floor), and there was hot food, plates cups, cuterly everywhere. i feel absolutly terrible, and i know it was because of my temper flaring up when this happened that dd1 got hurt. there was a small cut. i sprayed her arm with a cooling spray that dh has from the hospital that also draws bruising out, and put a plaster on the cut. but i guess now it looks like iam covering it up, but i am not. hoenstly.

i feel so down and stressed, and am so worried iwill be seen as not coping and lose my family.

i am going to get a docs appointment on wednesday (day off) but am unsure of whats wrong with me, apart from the obvious stress.

Had no idea of what stresses you've been living with for so long. (in your profile, at the top, it mistakenly says you have no children!) Everyone loses it sometimes, try and get all the help you can. Knowing the load is all on your shoulders just adds to the stress. Will be sending thoughts your way.

i know my profile is wrong, but cant be bothered to change it atm, i have 3 dd's ages 7(almost)_, 4 and 2.

following a thread I started recently (maybe you even posted on it, sorry can't remember) I know that somebody who felt they were losing it got the best help from their health visitor. maybe worth trying?

and of course dealing with your child's cut is not 'covering it up'!

lack of time alone messes with your head even without adding on all the literally unbelievable stress you are dealing with.

misdee - anyone, anyone would be stressed with what you've had to cope with. Think going to the GP is a good idea. You've had so long thinking about and caring for others, you need to think about yourself for a change.

Misdee, accidents happen, and no-one would think you hurt your DD on purpose.
I agree with the posters who suggest you visit your GP for help.
Anyone in your situation would need a break - we all need time to ourselves, even if just a short while now and again.
You always come across as a devoted wife and mother in all of your posts, and asking for help when you need it is completely natural.

misdee accidents happen. I accidentally zipped my friend's DD's back into her dress yesterday. She cried and cried. But agree to try and get whatever support you are entitled to.

Misdee just wanted to agree with all the advice here. Accidents like that happen to all of us. You are an amazing mum and an amazing wife - now you need to look after you and find what help is around so you get a break. Sending you loads of positive thoughts. xxxx

Oh misdee - hugs sweetheart. Lots of good advice here. You will NOT lose the girls. You do hoever need to DEMAND more help. They won't automatically give it otherwise.

Oh misdee. I am so sorry. No, I don't think you will lose your kids; yes, I think you need to push for help.

Misdee - I often lurk and rarely post on your threads but I had to post on this one.

You have had more to deal over the last few years than most of the rest of us put together. How you cope amazes me on a daily basis. You come across as an incredible woman, keeping so much together for your lovely husband and beautiful girls. The stress you must be under would paralysis most people.

Go and see your GP, people at Harefield, anyone else you can think of and demand more help.
You really need to put yourself first for a while (much easier said than done I know!)

Take care.