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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Newborn & Sleeping

35 replies

Mrs40 · 03/03/2017 19:49

Needing some advice. My newborn is 2 weeks old and is wide awake at night and sleeps all day. The advice seems to be that in the early weeks establishing a routine won't work and its best to feed on demand and go with the flow and over time things will sort themselves out. I don't have a problem with this as my husband is off work and will be for another week but I am completely panicking about when he goes back and won't be able to help out during the night.

It's all very well saying sleep when the baby sleeps but even with the two of us off it's hard to get nap time during the day when there seems to be an endless list of things to get done. I didn't think it would be this hard. The other day for example I got up at 630 changed and fed baby and got myself dressed (a quick wash in the sink and a clean pair of leggings so not exactly a full pampering session :-) ) and these tiny basic tasks took me until 915 when the feeding cycle started again and the bottles need sterilised etc etc. Then the midwife visits and so on and on and before I know it it's night time again and I have achieved nothing let alone had time for a daytime nap.

We are coping as I said because my husband is off so I try and sleep between 9 and 12 and then my husband sleeps later in the mornings but as I said I am worried when he goes back to work.

Does anyone have any advice? Is this normal? Does it get better?

When I ask for advice from family and friends I feel criticised that I don't have a routine but with a baby only 2 weeks old I don't know if I am failing.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

numberseven · 08/03/2017 09:36

I've been there with my older daughter (she is 4 now) and i promised to myself that i won't be so crazy exhousted when my second daughter was born. My dear friend found hwl method (hwl means Hold With Love) and i wasn't sure about it but my husband convinced me and this method SAVED US!

You and IAmAParent and CassieM also recommend her potty training book - with very similar wording in your posts might I add. Do I sense an ad campaign?

SweetRoseSweet · 08/03/2017 11:21

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Original poster

Mrs40 · 08/03/2017 13:26

Thanks to everyone who has responded. I'll look at all the advice. Unfortunately my infection got worse and I've been unwell the past few days. On new antibiotics now and anti sickness medication so hopefully I'll turn a corner.
On a positive note I've been able to sleep more during the day (well actually my body gave me no choice) and DS is sleeping for 2-3 hours consecutively at night (although never at the same time but at least we get a bit of unbroken sleep be it at 1am or 4am. Thanks again I am away to properly read all the replies

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JessaHanna · 08/03/2017 23:16

Just seen this. Hope you are okay OP :)

It's early days, don't put pressure on yourself and try to block out the kind advice from others about routines etc.

It's tiring at first but you will get into what works for you. Enjoy these days as much as you can without any pressure xx

Brackla · 09/03/2017 05:25

This is a timely reminder of those early weeks, DS2 is due any day now. Can you ask someone (DM, DMIL, a good friend..) to come and stay when your DH goes back to work? A good friend or relative staying can be a real help (I was a bit apprehensive but my DM did all the housework, cooked and fillled our freezer and was great at looking after me while I looked after DS1 but I appreciate not everyone can get that or would want that from their DM). If not, one thing I finally relented and did was that when DH came home from work at night, I would go off to bed in the evening really early, like 7:30 or 8pm. It gave him a few hours alone snuggling in the sofa with DS and I got some decent sleep between feeds. I wasn't great at napping in the day then. It is a sacrifice if you/DH really miss your evenings together, but sleep was far more important to me at that point and it really was a short period. Congratulations on your baby, hope your recovery improves now, and be kind to yourself.

welshmummy1983 · 09/03/2017 10:31

You're not alone! I'm mum to a nocturnal 3 week old. I'm breastfeeding and he's having a growth spurt at the moment so the feeding is incessant, paticularly in the early hours. My HV has told me to keep waking him every couple of hours in the day and to give him plenty of feeds in the early evening before putting him into his crib. It's taken a week but the last 2 nights he's actually slept in his crib between feeds whereas before he was either wide awake or would only fall asleep if he was being held by me. Best of luck to you x

Sparrowlegs248 · 09/03/2017 12:36

Haven't rtft both babies napping!!) but will say lower your expectations.

I have ds1 19 months who gets up at 5.30am. Ds2 3.5 weeks who is up from 1/2 am on with reflux. Yawn. I got up and washed and dressed (yes sink wash and leggings) before H left the house for work. Breakfast for ds1 while ds2 screamed with reflux (I was holding him)

My aim is to do the washing up, and gave us all fed and dressed. That's it.

Getting out of the house is good though. Esp with a bloody hyper toddler......

But, if your baby is sleeping all day, seriously, sleep too. What else are you doing?

PowerJane · 11/03/2017 18:02

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elliej83 · 11/03/2017 21:44

Just ride out the first 12 weeks and don't put too much pressure on yourself. It will get better and sometimes it will get worse again but it will get a lot easier.
If there's anyone that can watch the baby while you nap in the day every now and then take them up on it. If not when your husband goes back to work quite often as soon as mine got in I would go to bed for a couple of hours and let him look after the little on. Try to be a little more open to sleeping whenever you can and not at the normal night times.
Very early on we tried to establish the difference between day and night so he understood. I.e, bedtime routine with a nightlight on. From 6 weeks onwards I started putting him to sleep in our room with the baby monitor on and a nightlight and either staying with him reading/watching TV with headphone on or of the baby camera on and being in the living room. This seemed to work wonders as I was more able to cook, tidy round and have an hour to myself even though it felt weird him by being with me 24/7! x

elliej83 · 11/03/2017 21:45

Oh and get out the house! Especially on the days where you really don't feel like it! That's the days you really need to. Go to baby groups or meet with friends. Babies are so much easier to handle out the house and everyone helps each other so you even get to eat! x

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