help, one of the mums in dd class a bit keen, and my dd isn't

[pirategirl]

HI,
Bit of a class protocol sitch here.
One mum has seemingly taken a shine to 'us', me and dd, and we have barely had any real contact, save leaving the kids at the class.

I exchanged fone numbers with the mum on about the 2nd day out little ones started, had never met her before, but was really as nervous as my dd at the time and tbh I dont really remember giving her my number. It was a case of her quite suddenly asking and I was put onthe spot, and i am a coward and didnt liketo be rude.

I enjoy meeting new friends and mums, and having that gradual thing where you get on, and yuor kids do too, THEN you go for a meet up.
But I have had 3 phone calls, out of the blue, the first time suggesting a play that day after schol, the next on a saturday morning, (my dd was away at her dads)and now today, did dd want to go over their place next week.

Is it justme or am I being too weird thinking this isnt happening naturally,and it seems short notice, also the mother said, 'if she doesnt want to come on her own yo can come tooo' well there is no way i would let my dd (4) just go on her own, when I have never even been to the home.

Anyhow, I thought, ok, step back, ask little one what she would like, and lo and behold she says she isn't that friendly with said child, and doesnt really want to go.

I feel like I cant keep putting her off, but just feel we dont know each other much, and tbh I am not seeing her as a potential buddy, there are others i have had more chats with. I don't dislike her one bit, I just feel uncomfortable.

help, am i being horrible??

Al i can think of is some excuses. However this mum may be lonely, or new in the area.

You could delay until you get to know her better and say weekends are kept for family stuff as there is so much running around to do, catching up after the week.

She may be new in the area and hoping to make some new friends, so you could invite her and her dd to your house and have back up of a friend or some-one in your house, so its not so intense,

Make the first time for a play only (not meals) and keep it shortish!

If dd doesnt want to play with her dd, then you'll just have to put it off for a while.

You will have to see her for the next few years.

Yeah,I know that all of us will be seeing eachother alot, and I am more than happy to let things progress. For me its just I cant cope with the pressure, and am too soft to think of any reasonable excuses.

She is def not new to area. I am a single mum now and prob wary of new situations if I'm honest, but I just dont click with her. I told her dd is ill, which is true, and that we'd speak next week, so will wait and see, but my dd never talks about this little one, only about other ones, so I will ahve to see how it pans out.

My silly fault for giving of my mobile number so freely!!!

umm. tricky at that age when you all have to drop off and collect at the same place, by classroom. Can't you stand back from the crowd abit, when you collect and tell dd where to look for you?

Perhaps her dd isn't a natural extrovert and her mother is keen to encourage her to socialise. Would it hurt?

You could be talking about me , I find it virtually impossible to approach people I don't know, I freeze inside at the thought of being rejected, and I always come across as a tongie-tied idiot. I agree with hmc, she is probably overdoing it a bit because she has had to muster every scrap of courage and adrenalin to approach you because she feels she owes it to her daughter to stop being a social cripple and set a better example.

Not that I'm saying you have to be friends with her if you don't want to, just trying to shed light on her slightly OTT approach - it's probably nerves and a vehement determination not to chicken out for her dd's sake

True - yes that thing that Greeny just said

I think her child is a little shy yes, mine is exact opposite, altho mine is also sensitive and friendly.

i guess its more my problem, I am just not able to give atm, going thru too much, and I am wary cos she is rather full on in her approach. But i also see it as right now i have had the calls, and even if i tested the water I've a gut feeling we aren't matched as mates, and how would i getout of it the future.
Maybe I flatter myself, maybe she only wants a friend for her dd,and that's why it was only dd who was initially inivted lol

btw she is very outgoing -the mum.

OK dunno then

Maybe she just really likes you/your dd. That's nicee, even if you don't take her up on it.

She might be outgoing sure, but I suspect she is worried for her dd.

My dd is quite reticent and doesn't seem to be getting the 'playdates' that the other Reception girls are enjoying. I have to admit - it is worrying me. The other girls appear uber confident (doesn't help that dd is one of youngest in the year - July birthday) and dd isn't as sophisticated as them.

Perhaps this mum has singled out you because you seem the most approachable...

Hm, never thought of it like that, as i have has zero conversation with her, apart from the first few days I'd give her a 'knowing look'when leaving the classroom.

Guess i better lighten up.

Don't be hard on yourself pirategirl [kindly emoticon]. Don't think you need to lighten up.

I don't think you need to lighten up either, in fact I think you are very kind to be giving it this much thought. I've had people brush me off like a fly (although that may be my natural charm and good looks)

Guess ihave had a trying week, dd off sick all week. I had a panic attack tis mornign just b4 taking her to see gp.
Then another phonecall from this mum, and i was thinnking, surely you've seen i am not there at class this week, maybe she wanted to see if we were ok, but hey, maybe she's gonna be a stalker.

only jokin.

i am tired, hey i should be in bed.!