DD misses primary school and her circle of friends

[Geekgirlmum]

DD (11) started secondary school in September. All seemed fine, but tonight she was in tears saying she misses primary school and having lots of friends. She has one good friend (from primary school), but most of the rest of her circle moved off to other schools. She says she made friends initially but they all have their own circles now and she feels left out. I tried to offer her advice, though I feel out of my depth here as I wasn't exactly the most popular girl at school. DD is quieter than many of her friends. She can be shy, but she is very kind and loves making friends. What advice would you give if it were your child? I feel so sad for her. I suggested she go up to the other groups and see if she can join in or invite them to join her and her friend for lunch. I also suggested that she see if there are any children on their own who might want to join them or find other kids from her primary school (even those who weren't close friends) to expand her circle.

That all sounds like very sensible advice. It might be an idea for her to join a club or group in school as that's another way she could make friends.

It's sounds like you are already giving her sensible advice

A few things that might help:

1. Remind her that even tho if may not seem so, most if not all girls in her class will feel this way at some time in the next few years or so

1. It's a life skill that needs to be learnt - how to navigate friendships and meet new people - and it's great that she's learning this now whilst she has a mum to love her and support her at home (rather than when she leaves home) - the earlier she can learn this life skill the better off and more confident she will be

1. Reinforce that she is great just the way she is and that any worthwhile friendship will see her for herself (in other words don't change yourself to fit it)

1. Encourage her to do things that interest her - friends will come from these shared interests