I dont think Happy Mum = Happy Baby

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Rather, Happy Babby = Happy Mum.

What do you think?

i happen to think for somepeople it's whatever gets you through that day.

Hi,

I think it goes both ways too. If my children are happy, then I am happy too. But I know they can pick up on moods....it's like a circle (of love?) isn't it?

hmmmmm some people on here have never had a baby with colic methinks

First time: Traumatised Mum + Sick Baby = Unhappy Mum + Screamer .... = Poor Unhappy But Very Stoic Dad

Second time: Chilled Mum during birth + Non Sick Baby = Deliriously Happy Mother + Chilled Content Baby ....... = Happy First Child and Very Very Very Happy Dad

It's too simple to say happy mum = happy baby. Of course it is. It is offensive to women who've had PND - not many people know I did, and everyone comments on how happy DS2 is - imagine if I believed the only way I could have a happy baby was if I was happy - I'd have felt even worse.

It is a trite trillable phrase that is often used as a cover-all for new mums who are worrying too much about whether what they are doing is good enough, but it doesn't often help with the root problem. For instance, it is often trotted out when women are having problems breastfeeding and are very unhappy about it, and yes, for some it is provides comfort and helps them to make the transition to ffeeding more easily. But for others, they are not only desperately sad that they've stopped bfeeding, they also have to be happy for their baby's sake as well. More pressure.

So, IMO, it's a phrase that is pretty meaningless and usually twittered by feather-brained people.

I've not read the thread, btw. I am living dangerously by posting now

i don't think it is that clear cut. i quite often feel crap but ds is the most content thing in the world.

happy mum = lit bong.

nuff said.

Ive never took the phrase "Happy mum = Happy baby" to mean that a mum should be responsible for her childs happiness or to be blamed if her baby isnt happy. The way Ive always understood it is that a mum shouldnT feel guilty for the decisions she makes in her life (WOHM, SAHM or whatever) because as long as she is as content as she can be, this can only help the child. I love being a SAHM, for example, but will start working twice a week soon. My DD is NOT going to be happy being left in childcare initially (shell be 8 months). But I know how re-energised Im going to feel after working- Im the kind of person who actually ends up with more energy after a day working. I know I`ll come back to meet DD refreshed and excited for the reunion.
So I think Happy mum = Happy baby because us mums have to put our own needs forward now and again.

Message withdrawn

It depends what makes the mother happy. If that's taking heaps of drugs and leaving baby with dodgy babysitters...

I take the equation to mean that if mum faces a decision and one way would make her happier, more relaxed and the other way would make her uptights and stresses but be technically better then her being happy is better for baby than having technically better parenting.

However I am more the no pain no gain school of parenting.

Excellent post Hunker ... wholeheartedly agree ... I wanted to kill my HV when she told me Happy Mum makes a Happy Baby ... just as I was off to collect my prescription for ADs ...

And rofl @ custy ...

I had a whopping case of PND. And I believe happy mom really helps toward a happy baby. That's why I took ADs.

But at the same time agree with Bloss - this question isn't really answered finally, one way or the other ...