Breastfed baby, can I expect some sort of routine, at some point??

[Kione]

DS is 5 weeks, he was big at birth so he feeds about 12 times in 24 hours. No routine whatsoever, he has slept between feeds some nights, others stays awake for a while. But I find the days hard without knowing when he'll be likely to feed as I have a 7 y/o DD (bottle fed so she had a routine very early on) and I need to do school runs, activities, etc. Sometimes if DS is hungry I can't just stop and feed him, and I resorted to staying at home all day today but he has emptied my boobs and am going bonkers. Is there any hope for a routine...?

Your boobs feeling empty is a good sign. He's draining them well and when he starts suckling again that will stimulate milk production. Your supply sounds very well established.

My DS has never had a routine as such. I've always fed on demand. At fist their tummies are so small that they can only have so much in one go, and need feeding little and often.

I've breastfed three DCs and we never got into a routine. The best advice anyone gave me was forget routines and just live day by day.

First*, sorry. God, I can't type tonight.

Breastfeeding my second and he's 6 months. My first got into a "routine" early on. By routine I mean that although I always fed on demand but she was fairly predictable in her eating and sleeping habits from the start. It has taken DS a little longer but he's fairly predictable now. On both, that frenzied feeding where you feel like you couldn't possibly have enough milk, lasted only for the first 8 weeks.

You do need a sling - I fed my DS a lot in a sling and made dinner/played with DD/walked to pick her up from Playschool. It was a lifesaver and meant that feeding him never stopped me in my tracks. Also feeding lying down at night time. If he is cluster feeding then is a lifesaver. I have a poncho that I throw over both of us for feeding outside. Your going to need to feed on the go otherwise breastfeeding will be incredibly awkward for you and it really doesn't need to be.

I can't use slings or carriers as I have a very sore back, I have tried but DS already weighs over 12lb so I have been advised not to.
I rather not go out that feeding outside, this is a very windy rural area. At the moment I drive everywhere in case I need to feed in the car.
When you say no routine, even to go to bed? DS also has colic for a couple of hours but sometimes less so I never know when I will be going to bed and I find that exhausting.

The unpredictability of the feeds can be hard at first. I got used to feeding anywhere I needed to which made it easier.

I fed outside on park bench etc (baby wrapped up anyway and I didn't find it that cold, I just unzipped my coat and wrapped blanket round us if needed but baby next to you keeps you warm).
Sometimes baby wouldn't feed before school run so I would end up feeding outside the school while waited for DC to come out of classroom or in car before drove back home.
It doesn't last forever and I found they sort of settled into their own little routine.
Molly is right, if you can get used to feeding wherever you are it can be so easy. It's great knowing that you've always got food and comfort to hand.

kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/basics/milkproduction-faq/
You might find this helpful in relation to worrying about your breasts feeling 'empty'

Don't wait for baby to ask to be fed, just offer about twenty minutes before you go out. It's meant to be convenient for both of you, not just baby. Even if they're not massively hungry, I've not met an infant that won't happily suckle for a few minutes, even if it's just for a cuddle. If baby doesn't take it, then fair enough. But at this stage, they do normally sleep when they're warm and wrapped up being pushed around in the buggy or driven.

Wearing baby in a sling is easier on your back than carrying him in your arms. A proper woven or stretchy sling/wrap which distributes his weight evenly on your torso and allows you to stand straight, not a baby bjorn crotch dangler which puts intense pressure on even the healthiest of backs.

Also, why do you have to give up feeding to get married?

Honesty, from someone who suffers with slipped disks, a sling is easier on your back than carrying him around amd trying to do things with one arm free. You just need a proper one.I also found it much easier to use than lifting the car seat out of the car.

Breastfeeding at the start is a bit of an endurance test. There is also the growth spurt from hell at about 6 weeks. Feeding in a sling, feeding lying down and feeding anywhere are just some way to make it easier, especially when you have other kids. You'll get to about 8/9 weeks and suddenly it will be a lot easier. Your nearly there.

I thought I'd add some words in from someone who didn't use a sling - just to offer a different perspective.

BF babies feed frequently and it will not be connected to birth weight - they just do. I say this in case you think you aren't making enough milk.

I found that if I stayed in with mine in the early weeks, it would feel all I did was feed. But getting out actually put natural gaps in. The baby would sleep in the pram or I'd be at a baby group or something and get chatting and the baby would feed or sleep or be held for a bit and it was better.

By my third I had a 2 and a 4 year old (at school) so I would feed baby, get us all dressed, feed again and leave for school run. Travel to toddler group - feed baby there (usually only needed to be once), travel home and feed again.

They are also catnappers at this stage and either sleep for hours on end or have a 1.5 hour cycle in which they need feed, settle to sleep and then feed again. By 12 weeks they start to emerge from that and move more to obvious naps - usually 3 per day then 2 by 6 monthsish.

Hope some of that helps and you start to enjoy your baby - getting out for both of you will be important.

I imposed a routine on mine from about six weeks. EBF, but feeding to a schedule not on demand. Worked for both of mine.

I just don't want to be breastfeeding on my wedding day. DS will be looked after by family members and possibly spending the night with grandparents.
The grand plan was to have a baby last year and we put the wedding this year, but I had a miscarriage.

I ff DS1 and bf DS2.

I had a great routine in place for DS1 and found the lack of routine quite difficult to adjust to with DS2, although it did get easier as time went on.

We started doing a bedtime routine with DS2 at around 12 weeks I think - i.e. putting him upstairs to sleep after his last big feed of the day. Before that he just snoozed downstairs with us (in his basket or on DH) until we went up to bed.

I did as others on here did - offer a feed about half an hour after we left the house, then again when we were out (both mine were winter babies and I bf DS2 out and about all the time). If he decided he needed feeding on the walk home from school he either whinged until we got home (10 minute walk) or we stopped at the park and I fed there, while DS1 ran off some steam after school (I did this more when the weather was better!)

Some days this all worked really well. Other days it felt like a major challenge! However, once I got into the swing of it, I actually found the lack of routine really liberating. I could be out for the day doing something fun with DS1 and no matter when DS2 wanted a feed, I could just stop, sit down and get my boob out.

You don't HAVE to bf though. Nothing bad will happen if you decide you want to ff.

half an hour before* we left the house, not after!

Yeah I have thoughts of changing to formula but now that my boobs don't hurt so much its nice not to have to get out of bed at night and sterilize bottles!

You don't need to give up BFing to have a day or two away from your 7 month old. They can have formula, no problem. You just spend a day or two away from them, and discretely express when you feel you need to for your own comfort.

If you want to give up BFing for other reasons - because it feels like it's time to stop then go for it. But do be aware that there are other options. I know if I was trying to give up BFing for a set date and me and my baby hadn't really been ready it would have been really stressful!

I'm sorry for your loss

Agree feed before school run, then the rest fo the day will gradually fir into a sort of pattern around 10-12 weeks. OP if your back is bad try a sling where the weight goes on your hips eg ergo, manouka, that kind of thing.
Try EASY babywhisperer routine. Is very simple and means you dont become human dummy

And well done for getting this far with the BF 😀

Thanks all again

Yes and no!
Agree with others re offering before you go out to tide him over a bit.
I found that my second fell into a reasonable (even Gina ford esq ) sleeping routine even though he was feeding often throughout the day so maybe try to get him to sleep at those key points (9ish, 12ish, 4ish) and go from there?
Nighttime I kept both mine up til 10 until they were about 3 months as they cluster fed.

Hi OP, the feeds will become less frequent. Not sure when your wedding is, but you might be able to get through with a few expressing sessions if you don't want to actually feed and just give formula that day. The important think is to stimulate the supply for the next day. Be prepared that the baby might have other ideas. When I had to do this, my baby was not near me. I was feeding my daughter when I graduated from my Masters - there is a classic photo of me in all the kit feeding her on a city centre bench. You might actually be able to get some lovely shots of you feeding your baby. It would be a shame to lose the benefits and convenience of breastfeeding for the sake of one day (albeit a very important one!).

I breastfed all my children and they each ended up with a sort of routine, but nothing too fixed. I always fed befor leaving so they had a top up and didn't need to feed immediately when out. The beauty of BF is that you can feed any place, any time, so staying home really isn't needed.
1 very very important thing. Breasts aren't like bottles that are emptied and then need to refill. When your supply gets established they may feel empty all the time. Breasts are more like continuously producing little factories. So you can put your baby to the breasts any time and s/he will get milk. You don't need to go by feel.
And I also fed outside, whatever the weather. With bulky clothing in winter, it may be a bit awkward, but it's possible. I remember going for a walk with a group of friends when dc1 was 2 and dc2 was about 8 weeks & I jus BF her while walking. She was a Dec baby, so it must have been this time of year. A lot of outside BF is about confidence in your ability and getting hang of a technique that works for you.

Empty feeling in breasts is completely normal around the 5-6 week mark :) having a young baby is usually very tough, how ever they are fed, you're in the earliest and most tricky stage at the moment, things will get easier, in the mean time is there anything that helps things feel easier? Will your partner help you get a bit of rest, or rock baby while you get even a twenty minute walk by yourself? It is stifling sometimes being wholly responsible for a baby's well being, it gets so much easier xxx