Please help me sort out this bedtime routine nightmare

[ControlGeek]

Dd id 6 weeks old and will only sleep while being held. If I put her down, even if she is fast asleep, she will be awake and crying within minutes. Propping the basket up doesn't help, and she'll happily sleep fully horizontal on me or DH so I don't think it's silent reflux. She's fine in her pram - as long as it's moving.

The only way I've been able to get any sleep myself is to co-sleep nursing her, but it still takes about 4 hours of lying-down nursing before she drops off (usually around 2am when she's worn herself out with her fussing), and she wakes frequently to feed/fuss and takes an hour or more to get back to sleep each time.

Last night I was so desperate for sleep that I nursed her in cradle hold rather than lying flat, and I just slept on my back, propped up on pillows while she did it. Amazingly, she slept from 11.30pm until 4.30am, and I got nearly the same amount! After changing her and nursing her again she was spark out so I tried a variation of the 'Ross and Rachel bed roll' so she was safely lying on the bed rather than on me. That lasted all of five minutes, and after a couple of hours of trying to settle I gave up and slept with her in cradle hold again. We both then managed another couple of hours' sleep. This was the most I've had since she was born.

I know it's not safe to sleep while she's sleeping on me, but have no clue how to help her to sleep off me. Any advice please?

Download the white noise app on your phone.....was life changing for us.
X

Medicmama

My advice is based on having three children under five. I fully breastfed all three for almost a year, so they got plenty of attention. It's a physical impossibility to be in more than one place at a time, which is why when the baby is fed, changed, clean and safe there are times when another child's needs take priority. As you had four, you must know this. Unfortunately you are coming across as super woman, who can be in four places at once and still have time to tell someone on Mumsnet that their advice is bollocks.

I think it's very irresponsible to put pressure on new mums to finds ways of stopping a baby from crying, especially ones who are already stressed.

Provided a baby is well, fed, loved, clean, warm, comfy and changed, they won't come to any harm if they cry a bit. Babies do cry and we can't always stop them. Sometimes putting them down, walking away and making a cup of tea is actually the safest thing to do. So call that bollocks as well if you want, I really don't care.

The OP has said that her baby goes from asleep to crying within minutes, thus if she follows your advice and ignores the baby for 5 mins while she does something else, she will be leaving the baby to cry. Not necessary or pleasant.

I gave advice on settling the baby when she is sleepy and ready to go down. I didn't say anywhere to leave her to cry when she wakes up. Again you are misinterpreting my words.

You are obviously looking to argue with another poster rather than giving any advice.