How do you cope?

[tinajayne1993]

My little 6 week old baby is not happy at all we are going through different milks and med to see if we can solve what's up setting him but that's on a different thread.

I'm having a really hard time coping with him I'm with him 24/7 my partner only helps on weekend and thats only doing the night feed. With my son being so unhappy all the time and napping 20 mins at a time I feel like I can't bond with him. I had a really crappy mam and I am scared I will be like her , I get so frustrated and angry with my baby and I know it's not his fault but I can't help but to shout at him some times and I feel awful for it. I am constantly crying over him and just how shitty I am feeling. How do you get through it ?

You just get on with it and take each day as it comes.
If you get to the point of shouting at him you need to take a step back. Pop him in his cot and step out the room for a breather for a couple of mins, as long as you know he's safe a bit of crying without you won't harm him.

He's still so little and you are still figuring each other out, you can't expect a huge bond yet but it will come gradually.
Do you have anyone that could come and help a bit? You need to grab some power naps wherever you can.

Most of all be gentle on yourself, this is a whole new world to you and it will take some time to adjust.

It sounds like you are doing an amazing job. I have replied to you in your other thread and you are a fantastic Mum in a difficult situation. The first 6 to 8 weeks are horrendous but it gets easier.

If you are crying all the time than go and see your GP as you may need some support.

Do you have a sling? It is good for bonding but remember it is normal for many mums not take time to love their babies.

What helped me as DH taking DD from 7 until 12 every night and me having a bath and going to bed early.

Is there any one who has take your baby out in the pram? Even if they just push him up and down your street so you are close by.

Sending you massive hugs it's so so hard and stressful when they cry constantly. Do you have anyone else who can help you out? Your mum, mil, brother , sister, friend? You need a break more than just the odd night feed of a weeken and that's how you'll cope better I promise.
It's normal to feel completely overwhelmed millions of us have felt the way you are. Speak to your health visitor I had a fantastic one who would regularly come and see me at home rather than the clinic. It helped just to have someone outside the family to sound off too/cry too/ share my worries etc and she offered great advice aswell as a listening ear.

My family live 4 hrs away and my partners family are from Europe so we have no one that can help us out. I just feel so overwhelmed my hv is lovely but I feel like I already bug her enough with the little one never mind me on top. I love my son but I don't know how I can cope with him like this. I know thank you heirhelp you have been a God send to me honestly. I just feel like I'm bugging everyone with my problems my friends have family's of there own so they are dealing with them and my family had worries about me becoming a mam any how so I don't want to reinforce there thoughts on it. I have suffered from depression all of my life and now I'm just feeling worse than ever my partners understanding but I can only talk about it so much to him. I just feel so alone.

Are you in a position to get some help in - a nanny or mother's help, even if just for one day a week? They can take the baby for a walk while you sleep?

For what it's worth it will get easier eventually. Big hugs.

7 months ago I was I in exactly the same place. It does get better but that is no help to you right now.

Contact homestart to see if they can offer some help. Can your DH work 4 days a week and take say Wednesday off to help out/let you sleep? Go and see you GP. Are you taking and ADs?