Trying hard to not be resentful

[Colabottle10]

DS is 6 months. A really easy, fun, smiley baby. I've BF from the off and he's been in a Snuzpod next to our bed the whole time.

Sleepwise it's been up and down. Just coming out of the sleep regression stage and he's waking around twice a night. Feeds and goes back to sleep easily.

DH has never woken for nightfeeds. DS will take a bottle of BM but I've never been organised enough to have bottles of it ready for night times.

I'm starting to get resentful of DH. Last night DS woken every hour and was suffering with trapped wind. He woke crying and took a lot of leg cycling, infacol etc etc to get back off to sleep, whereupon he'd wake up again an hour later.

DH says he doesn't hear him. I don't believe him and am starting to be resentful.

We both work hard running our own business, I've had no maternity leave (was working when on hospital having DS) and I'm worn down. I work from home as it's easier for naps etc and DH works at the workshop but I'm so tired.

DH has hinted about DS moving into his own room. I'm reluctant until he's sleeping better as what's the point? It's me getting up all the time and I'm buggered if I'm traipsing across the hall all night.

Rant, rant. Sorry.

How do you stop being resentful?

My dh never woke up so I woke him. I breastfed but he did the following: fetched baby (s), changed nappy to see if that was the problem, shushed, tried to get him back to sleep, if baby wasn't having any and definitely wanted mummy milk passed him to me. Dh then fell asleep and when I'd finished I woke dh again and dh put him back in the cot. Dh has always been fab at going back to sleep again and I haven't. But I could breastfeed half asleep. So this routine suited us fone through 4 babies.

My dh never woke up so I woke him. I breastfed but he did the following: fetched baby (s), changed nappy to see if that was the problem, shushed, tried to get him back to sleep, if baby wasn't having any and definitely wanted mummy milk passed him to me. Dh then fell asleep and when I'd finished I woke dh again and dh put him back in the cot. Dh has always been fab at going back to sleep again and I haven't. But I could breastfeed half asleep. So this routine suited us fone through 4 babies.

Awww look at that wee cutie! It sounds to me like he is just out of sorts and maybe teething or even if you've begun food that can unsettle them as their digestive system works to make real poop rather than BF poop. 💩
Hopefully the expressed bottle will help you get a bit more sleep and DH will appreciate the lack of sleep too!
I'd not move onto formula if you've managed to express and have gotten to 6 months. He will be getting less milk once weaning anyway so now it's time to reap the benefits of BF after the hard slog!

I'm ashamed to say I've not got much further.

It seems silly to wake DH when I'm already awake if that makes sense?

I came up to bed wit DS and the laptop at 9 last night. Fed him, he went to sleep, I did some work. Vat return is due on the 7th. Worked till 10.30 went to sleep. DS did 11.30, 1.30, 3.30 and 4.30. Then a massive poo at 5. So nappy change but that woke him. DH took him downstairs and I told him there was a bottle in the fridge.

What does he do? Brings him up at 7 for a feed and wakes me up. When I asked about the bottle he said he didn't know how long it had been there or if he was allowed to use it.

In reality he wanted me to have the baby so he could bugger off to work.

I know. I'm feeble. It just seems easier to power through it all on my own.

Sounds like you need to have a sit down talk with him about exactly how much work (professional and baby) you're doing. I'm hoping for his sake he just hasn't quite got it. And how hard you're finding this stage. When my ds was waking that much, my dh used to get up at 4 with him so I could have a couple of hours before he went to work.
And crystal clear instructions on what to do with the bottle since until now the lucky guy hasn't had to think about feeding the baby

If you have the space, you could try doing shifts - so for part of the night your DH is on duty and you are somewhere else in the house so only he gets woken, then later you swap. That way you each get some uninterrupted sleep which we found crucial once we were both working.

It sounds like you're not being clear enough and your DH is taking advantage of that. You obviously need to explain things so clearly that there can be no misunderstanding whatsoever. "you're taking the baby from x pm to x am. There is a bottle of milk in the fridge [leave detailed written instructions on how, when to feed]. Do not wake me before x am. I am exhausted, struggling and need your help." don't let him get away with pretending to be incapable, he is taking the piss!