Shy toddler - advice, please?

[Tindel]

My 16 month old has been in nursery full-time since I went back to work just after his 1st birthday. He seems really settled there and is fine with being dropped off etc.

I was chatting to one of the workers in his room and she commented how at times he's really chatty but only when he's having his nappy changed or when it's a bit quieter and she reckons he is quite shy around lots of other people.

I feel mortified - I was (and still am) painfully shy. It made my childhood and teenage years very awkward and I think I still struggle socially now. I was really hoping to avoid passing that trait onto him.

He's a really happy little soul, he can be a bit clingy to me or his dad (who is also a little shy), but he loves being in situations where he can see lots of other people and be involved. He will sit up for a meal for ages even if he's not eating as long as people are chatting to him. He also loves smiling at strangers when we're out and about.

Not sure what to do - does anyone have any tips to help him overcome it?

Please don't worry. He sounds like a perfectly happy little boy. I think your own experiences are making you worry far more than you should. My DS1 used to hide behind my leg when we went anywhere new. He spent many parties sitting on my lap. I don't think you can do anything extra to what you are doing. He's 13 now and is extremely, sometimes too, confident.

My daughter 3.5yr is exactly the same. At home she is very chatty but in nursery if shes in small groups shes chatty but in large groups shes very shy and wont speak full sentences like she does at home.

I too have always suffered with anxiety (especially social) im worried ive passed it onto her 😕

Ditto here. DD is 3.3 and we took her to a play barn thing on Tuesday. She was sitting in one of those pay for a ride things you get by the doors at the supermarket waiting for us to find change to let her have a go.

Two other children similar age got curious and came over, starting to climb on it around her. She refused to look at them, froze in total panic and stared at me willing me to make them go away. I would have asked them for space before we put the money in but didn't see they were really doing anything wrong.

She eventually couldn't contain herself and burst out crying asking me to take her out. She's so worried by kids she doesn't know

And she does 2.5 days at nursery and loves it. Gentle, non-confrontational type but plays nicely with a few of the girls. Not sure what to do about it to be honest. I was identical throughout my childhood....

Thanks Coconut I have always been self-conscious about passing on my less desirable traits. I do try and chat to people when I'm out and about with DS and encourage him to wave at people who make a fuss of him. Am hoping nursery will help with that too

Hi tindel I also have a very shy one, in fact lizi and puppy mouse I have exactly the same 3 year old, and I too was like it as a child. I get anxious about her social anxiety which isn't helping anything! She does 2 days a wk at nursery and also is a shy non confrontational type who plays nicely with a few of the girls, but absolutely hates groups or children she doesn't know and clings to me continually. I remember who hard it was to be shy and anxious as a child so really want to help her feel more relaxed and confident but haven't a clue how to go about it.