Suitable punishment

[Whitemousse]

My son is usually a well behaved quite child who follows instructions well at school. He is normally shy and does not seek attention at school. However, he got in trouble at school by showing his middle finger to a child in class. He has never done this before (or hasn't got caught before).
I have spoke to him about why it is wrong to do that and have made him write a letter of apology. Is there anything else that I should do to punish him? I've never had to deal with this before from him.

Depends on his age and the extent to which you think he knew it was wrong. If he is a 5 year old, who was copying older children and just trying something out, I wouldn't do any more. If he is a NT 9 year old who ought to have known that this was wrong, I would be doing a bit more (but again, it depends on what the usual consequences are in your house. Ours are usually loss of screen time / pocket money).

How old, and how have school dealt with it?

Sorry, forgot to say he is 7. Class teacher sent him to the head of year who informed us.

He usually gets to have some time at the weekend playing with his console, which I'm thinking of banning for the weekend. I have just started giving him pocket money, but I don't think he will feel it's loss.

Sounds like he's probably already been punished at school. So personally I'd leave the punishment there but have a chat about why it's inappropriate and why he shouldn't do it again. I don't really believe in multiple punishments for the same issue unless it's really bad and while swearing is far from ideal it's also not the worst thing he could be doing.

I'd agree with Caken.

another voice agreeing with Caken

it's been deal with, he probably won't do it again, lesson learnt

if you overuse the big guns it will lessen their effectiveness

I think you handled this very well, and I would have done the same. I would have another discussion with him to talk about what he did and why it's unacceptable. I would let him know that although you're disappointed, you understand that we all make mistakes and do silly things without thinking. I would also let him know that if he repeats this behavior, you will be forced to lay out a much harsher punishment.

He got sent to the head and the head told you. You've made him write a letter of apology. I think he now knows not to do this so you could leave it at that. Perhaps warn him that If he does it again he can expect to lose access to his console for a period time.