Parenthood 'myths'?

[lifeisazebracrossing]

Just curious to hear what you expected/were told would be the case vs what actually happened when you became parents.

I understand that everybody will have different experiences but I'm fascinated by the idea that people give so much advice as 'fact' when surely some things are impossible to predict/different for others?

My personal experience:
-a baby will test your relationship (true to an extent but our relationship is definitely stronger now, which is a nice surprise!)
-you'll never eat a hot meal or sleep again (hope I'm not a bad parent for having done so every day - albeit one handed eating whilst feeding or two hour sleep stretches)
-babies don't give anything back (maybe for a few weeks...)
-etc etc etc

What are your experiences?

Your brain goes to mush.
You worry all the time.
Birth is unspeakably unimaginably painful (sure, it hurts, but less than toothache).

Birth is unspeakably unimaginably painful (sure, it hurts, but less than toothache).

To me it does hurt more than toothache. It's just that toothache feels like it's never going to end. Given the choice id rather give birth ten times than have toothache.

I remember being in pain but it doesn't make me shudder and wish it would never happen again. Toothache however....

Oh pregnancy will ruin your body. No it won't. It'll change it for sure but it's not ruined by any stretch! And I have a c section overhang lol

DD was the worst sleeper ever (a fact which I have shared many many times on MN) and I was still less tired once she was born than in the late stages of pregnancy. I'm clinging on to that memory as I waddle through the third trimester with DC2, yawning and rubbing my eyes.

I also got "she'll never let you put her down" in relation to breastfeeding on demand, Co sleeping and using a sling rather than buggy. Oh yeah? Well whose 2 year old didn't come near their mother in soft play for 3 hours today, except when her mysterious sixth sense told her I had purchased a bag of walkers cheese and onion? She is Queen Independence, so fuck you to the naysayers :)

Also I always made time for a daily shower. I smell bad if I don't wash properly daily. DC2 will have to lie on the mat or in the swing for 5 minutes like his sister did.

Downside - they said I would forget how bad labour was. No I haven't forgotten one little bit and in fact I'm still suffering.

13 years ago when I was pregnant with my first was told by a hair dresser that I should cut my long curly hair short as I 'wouldn't have time for hair'... I was horrified and have trimmed my own hair since, i now have my 2nd son who is 7 weeks old and it's still long!

That if I only had my latch right and persevered, breastfeeding would be successful because this was what Nature had intended.

Dd was hypotonic and unable to suckle effectively; all that happened over the weeks was that she gradually grew less and less responsive, until she was admitted to hospital with malnutrition.

I strongly suspect that what Nature actually did intend was that children like her should not survive. But I cheated Nature!

Interesting to see what people focus on, isn't it? I've already declared that I shall not give any advice issue any threats to new mums as it's futile. Every baby is different!

53rd you described my baby! Let's hope they become 'Queen independent's too.

That I would feel an instant rush of love. Nope I was too busy puking and DH had to do skin to skin.
I was also led to believe that my newborn would be the most perfect creature that I would just long to cuddle and take care of. Again nope as I had severe mental health problems from about 37 weeks . I luffs her now though!

That I would feel an instant rush of love. Nope I was too busy puking and DH had to do skin to skin.
I was also led to believe that my newborn would be the most perfect creature that I would just long to cuddle and take care of. Again nope as I had severe mental health problems from about 37 weeks . I luffs her now though!

That I would feel an instant rush of love. Nope I was too busy puking and DH had to do skin to skin.
I was also led to believe that my newborn would be the most perfect creature that I would just long to cuddle and take care of. Again nope as I had severe mental health problems from about 37 weeks . I luffs her now though!

That I would feel an instant rush of love. Nope I was too busy puking and DH had to do skin to skin.
I was also led to believe that my newborn would be the most perfect creature that I would just long to cuddle and take care of. Again nope as I had severe mental health problems from about 37 weeks . I luffs her now though!

Bloody app! only posted once!!

'When you hold your baby in your arms for the first time, it's just the most amazing feeling in the world. The love you experience is overwhelming.' This notion of that immediacy of it all.....

For me, that came later, about three or four days later when I came out of the daze of childbirth and the overwhelming feeling of 'Shit, I have a baby!' had passed. I felt like a shit parent right from the off because that feeling didn't happen for me and I thought I was already a failure.

Notsure - I was going to say exactly the same thing.

EMCS at 31 weeks with twins nope, no instant bond. I was so grateful for a friend who had a fairly normal by comparison birth that not everyone had it. Made me feel more normal!

yes to the 'you will be hit by this massive rush of love the second you hold them' - nope
you will forget all about the birth - no, still remember how bloody painful the first ones was, it's been several years.

but also 'You will never wash/have a cup of coffee again, you must batch cook and prepare everything as you have no time etc'. I had such easy babies that I had all the time in the world - not only was I showered, by the time they were 3 months, I had deep cleaned the entire house

"You won't be bothered by exams/being naked during birth"

No in fact birth was very traumatising.

Batch cooking?? Something I never did as OH cooked or we had ping food!

The instant love myth is probably the worst one as it's so guilt inducing! My friend warned me that she didn't feel that way but I actually did! Again, nice surprise. But I would never tell someone they would feel like that because I did.

Batch cooking in late pregnancy: impossible for me!

I've remembered another one: you won't care about your dog when the baby is born. WTF?! I still love him and walk him. I missed him so much when I was in hospital and cried like an idiot when reunited! Ha.

I remember a mumsnet thread where someone said even at 3m, if the postie had offered to swap the baby for a particularly interesting looking parcel she would have considered it

That got me through the initial WTF babies are so boring stage until I did feel a bond much later

DS is a week old. I love him but wasn't instant. I was in shock after a quick labour and it all felt very surreal. I don't think any parents should feel bad if they don't feel the 'rush' straight away.

Ditto batch cooking. Was ill in late pregnancy and it never happened. DH cooks but I've found family and friends great for bringing food round.

I've managed a shower/change of clothes and make up everyday so far...