Do I need a nursery or should I keep the spare room?

[Tilly35]

Hi, we have a bedroom which has, until now, been a guest room for family etc. So it has a large double bed. I'm wondering if I should get rid of the bed and go full on nursery or will I regret it and welcome having a room I can go to for night feeds and fall asleep if necessary? Negatives of keeping the bed are that MIL will try and stay over frequently (and expect waiting on whilst she 'helps' with the baby) possibly ending up living a separate life from DH if in a different bed, I won't have a pretty nursery to ooh and ahh over. Positives of keeping the bed are: I'll still be able to get a cot in with the bed and we've not really got the money to go all out on a nursery right now.
Sorry this is a bit of a dull post but I'm properly on the fence and clueless, thanks x

I would keep
The double bed, v.useful for co sleeping/ breastfeeding and having a bit more room than all
Been squished up together. You'll. not need a cot for first couple of months anyway you'll have Moses basket/ crib type thing which is portable and you can move baby into whichever room
You want to sleep! Also you can still keep double bed when you have it as child's room -
My dc have double beds, more room for when they want to get in with each other or have family to stay etc.

We have a single bed in nursery - acts as a spare room if needed but also helpful if DH has an early start and I need to take crying baby into another room, I can just sleep in that bed

RE the "class" comments - my very working class gran used to say I "looked like a gypsy" when breastfeeding DS. So she saw it as a lower class thing too... weird old lady thing maybe?

I would keep the double bed in. It saves a lot of fuss and arguments having separate beds for the parent who needs sleep that night. Also handy when you get your mojo back and want some sex! Marriage saver.

hadn't thought about it like that Isadora2007!

This is all sooo helpful, I think it's easy to fall for the advertisers trap of thinking I need everything before and at a huge cost so you've all really put my mind at rest that it's a good idea to keep it as it is and enjoy a bit of space!

I'll be a happy little gypsy in my big bed with my norks out!

We made the spare room into a nursery but really all that entailed was putting a cot in there and a bit of sprucing up! We found it really useful having a spare bed for dp to escape to.

Keep the double bed but also lay down the law now with Mil about feeding/staying and make sure DH does too!

Definitely keep the bed for as long as the baby is in a room with you - if you're BFing it's great so that DH can then get an uninterrupted night's sleep and take the baby in the morning while you try and get another hour's sleep.

We had a double bed in what became the baby's room until she moved in there at 11 months. We've now ordered a sofa bed to put in there, given the number of nights we spend sleeping on the floor next to the cot when she's sick or teething!

Omg, please tell your Mil to mind her own and put your response /outburst down to your hormones.
dc was with us in moses basket in our own room but the spare room is ideal when DP goes back to work and you have some rough nights with baby. At least he won't be awake as much if so. I truly wish you best of luck. I desperately tried to to bf and was incredibly I'll with 3 bouts of mastitis in 4 weeks.

You won't miss out on not creating a nursery now as I had lots of fun creating dc room at 5/6 months. Good luck

We kept ours as a spare room while dd was still in with us.

When she went in her own room we kept the spare bed in there for a few months which was handy if one of us wanted to sleep in there (I did when she was poorly).

When we had guests they slept in there and dd came in with us in the travel cot.

When dd got to a point where she struggled to share a room - all far too interesting and she wouldn't sleep! - then we got rid of our spare bed. Guests are rare anyway but now they are on an air bed in the lounge.

Similar situation to you except we live abroad so even more likely to be hounded by house guests! Also our home is rented and we're not likely to be in there this time next year.

My plan is to keep the double bed in the spare room for the reason others have mentioned- gives one of us the chance to get a block of sleep then relieve the other.

Since baby will be in with us for six months it seems silly to remove the double bed, add in a cot which is likely to be empty (Moses basket to begin with) and make the room less functional.

I'm limited in decorations (horrible landlord forbids pictures) so I was going to make bunting, change the curtains and lampshade, and get new bedding for the double bed, maybe even a little 'babys room' sign; just so it feels like their room so to speak.

Your MIL sounds desperate to be involved. Can you assign her a job so she feels involved? A friend asked her MIL to buy her muslins as she had such good taste and to investigate nappy prices at the supermarkets. Kept her busy and she felt involved. Maybe she could make you bunting if she is crafty? Often good to proactively give them a task than let them volunteer nutty ideas!

I'd keep the bed. Baby should probably sleep in same room as you until 6m+, then you can move them to 'the nursery'
In your situation, I would 'nursery' the room, call it the baby's room (to put off mil) keep the bed until such point as the baby sleeps through reliably and needs to play in the room and needs more space? Although saying that, my five year old has moved himself into our double bed which was the 'spare'!

This is helpful thanks! Sure your baby's room will still feel special- lovely ideas!
I will set MiL to work!

Keep it as it is. If you need to make the room uninhabitable, just chuck all your washing and baby presents on it! Spare bed for us was invaluable. My mum helped us a lot and the bed helped us get the help!

As for in your room to 6m, I still have not seen what evidence this is based on. Have asked NHS professionals but none have been able to tell me how big the room should be (surely a small room with two adults is hot), seriously, how big should the room be and how far away should the baby be from you/your bed, are those next to me bed things safe (what if duvet is kicked off in the night??), should the window be open or not, should the door be open or not, and what the actual difference is between the baby sleeping in your room at night and it sleeping in the lounge in the day while you clean the bathroom. What is it based on? The fact you get zero sleep because you watch them all the time? How can you function like that for six months?

I think we made it two about 8 weeks or so, perhaps a bit longer. But we have quite a big bedroom and I was worried about the duvet coming off so she was as far from our bed as could be, so I really really didn't understand the difference. Now, it seems a lot of the others I know are struggling to make the transition.

Keep the double at least until the baby is sleeping through. We didn't, and I ended up spending 3 months on the world's most uncomfortable sofa bed.