When does having a baby get easier

[Amy1290]

Hi, I'm new to Mumsnet and I'm sure lots of first time mums have asked this before but when did having a baby get easier for you?
My daughter is 5 weeks old tomorrow and we had a really rough first couple of weeks with her and me both being poorly. During this time I tried to breast feed (after her being given formula whilst poorly in hospital so they could measure intake) which due to me becoming ill had to stop because of medication. So whilst she is now formula fed the first 2 weeks when my partner was off work he wasn't able to help at night and she never slept as constantly wanted to feed to catch me up from when she was formula fed in hospital which all happened after 5 days with only 5 hours sleep due to labour. Whilst she sleeps better now (still not great but better) I am finding it hard to work out how I will ever have time to catch up on sleep, clean my house, have a shower in the morning rather than wait until her dad gets home in the evening or even get out of the house to go to the supermarket or see friends. I mean are you only able to do household jobs whilst they are asleep?
Sorry to ramble on, last night was a bad night and am looking for reassurance that at some point in the near future we may get a loose routine, I might learn how to cope and that I might actually get a bit of sleep and lose this constant headache and start to enjoy her awake time rather than waiting in fear that when she wakes up she won't settle again for the rest of the night (or day).

DS is now 12mo and a total delight. He's got a personality now! A sense of humour!
it got incrementally easier throughout the first year, but now it's getting to be fun as well.

You are in the trenches right now doing the hard yards, but honestly, truly, you will get there and it will get better. Newborn babies are essentially (IMO) noisy animated hams. They improve with age though!

I had a fabulous vibrating bouncer for DS. It was about £20 from Mothercare and it was magic. He just couldn't resist sleeping in it, you could sit and bounce him with your foot and he was out like a light. And the vibrating thingy calmed him enough for me to have a quick shower.

Have a look and see if you have a local sling library - they will advise you about the best sling for you and you can normally hire one to try before investing.

Honestly, I love DS but the early days were no fun. But you'll get there.

You're just about over the hump. Hang on in there and don't be shy about accepting any help offered.

congratulations x

www.mothercare.com/bouncing-cradles-and-rockers/bright-starts-jubilant-jungle-bouncer/631791.html?cgid=nursery_playtime_bouncers#srule=Price+%5BLow+-+High%5D&sz=12&start=12

Look, it's in the sale!

Oh and try a sling sooner rather than later. I waited until 3 months and got a definite no way José from my DD.

Bouncy chairs/baby swings gave me a life

Improved at 3 months. Life started getting a bit more enjoyable at 6 months.

18 months is when I started feeling like I was getting my life back when they started sleeping better.

Hi Amy. for you - this stage is tough!

As PP have said, it does get (a LOT) easier. When DS was that age I used to try to do one thing per day, nothing more - and that one thing was something like "have a shower" or "put one load of dirty baby things in the wash". 6-8 weeks was definitely a turning point, not only because you and your baby find more of a rhythm and your confidence improves, but also because your baby starts to smile at you and respond to you, which makes all the effort feel a lot more worthwhile.

Getting out of the house really helps - look into whether there are any local NCT meet-ups (you often don't have to have done a course with them to go to a meet-up) or any new mum and baby groups (at a local children's centre or church, for example). Your health visitor might have some recommendations. If you are in London, ollyolly.co.uk is a goood source for local playgroups and meet ups.

DS is now seven months and an absolute delight. He still doesn't sleep that well, but he crawls towards me, gives me huge smiles, and giggles in delight when I kiss his face.

Be kind to yourself OP For me it was about 6 weeks when I felt a bit happier as DS smiled which made me realise I wasn't a totally rubbish mum, and then at about 12 weeks he started sleeping at night rather than crying all night (still needed feeds but would actually settle after them). It really does get better, you're in the depths of it right now but you'll pull through and it will pass. Try going to a baby group, I did and it made so much difference, I met a great group of new mums who were all in the same boat and we'd talk for hours about how we were struggling, it really helped to know I wasn't alone!

I distinctly remember at 10.5 weeks when I was pushing DS down the road in his buggy thinking "today has been ever so slightly better than yesterday". And from then on, it got ever so slightly better each day. We are now at 6.5 months and at 6 months things got so much better. Hang on in there! You'll make it x

Oh yes and we have a baby Bjorn bouncer which saved my sanity. And an ergobaby sling

Ditch household chores and give zero fucks about it. If you get 10 mins to put some washing on, great. If not, don't worry. If you really must do something 'productive', buy a sling so they can sleep in that while you potter about.

I have a two week old permanently attached to me at the moment so I know how you feel. This is my second though so I'm just enjoying the cuddles because I know how quickly it all goes.

Forget about the housework, eat anything that's easy and don't put pressure on yourself. With DS1 I felt like I had to do everything, with DS2 I was definitely more relaxed. Good job as he was permanently feeding for the first 3 months.
He's almost 17 months now and most things are easier but I still struggle to have a shower apart from when DP is here.

Lower your standards and relax and enjoy this time as its over so quickly. Do online shopping and have it delivered when your DH is home from work so he can put it all away. Buy a slow cooker and put a casserole on whilst DC naps, you can eat for 2 days easily if you make a large one. Enjoy the precious time.

About 10 weeks was a turning point as they started to sleep much better during the night and began smiling, cooing etc.

Now is not the time for having a clean home, looking well presented etc. And do online grocery shopping!

6 weeks was a turning point for me. I was falling apart before that. Leave the housework! When baby sleeps, you sleep. I had a moby wrap for DS it helped a lot just being able to go to the toilet

He's 6 now but it doesn't seem so long ago :) it goes by so fast.

I'll be honest and say for me it was more like 6-9 months. I only say that because I remember getting to 6 weeks then 12 and so on and feeling even worse because I knew lots of people were on top of things by then!

He's 2 now though and it's amazing, so so much fun. We do baking and days out and he's a total smasher. Worth it in the end!

Up till ds was 12 weeks I really didn't enjoy motherhood. I didn't expect it to be so hard. Ds was a very much wanted baby as I had fertility problems and never believed I'd feel the way I did! I was naive! After 12 weeks things kind of started to slot into place.
I did have another blip when sleep went really shit at 5 months and I was utterly exhausted .
He's now 12 months and I really feel sad that I spent all that time not enjoying it. I couldn't snap out of it at the time but trust me in a few months you'll look back and wonder what it was you found hard. You blink and that time where they are 'proper babies' is so so very short.
Things will work themselves out

Do you have any family or close friends who could help? If so, please don't be afraid to ask, or accept offers. Whether it's taking the baby out in the pram for an hour, bringing round dinner, catching up with washing or cleaning, it could take the pressure off you until things settle down a bit. I felt very privileged to be able to help my DD when my DGD was born.

Sorry Amy1290 haven't ignored you! it's just been a busy one today! (school holidays still...)

Mines a Moby Baby wrap although I think they're all much of a muchness - just a very long stretchy piece of fabric really. It's lasted two babies so far and still like new. It might be worth seeing if there's a wrap/sling library near you - local one to me you pay something like £25 upfront to try any/all and then you can use the £25 as credit towards buying one. Also I watched loads of YouTube video reviews as they're abit fiddly to put on at first.

About age 4!!! In all seriousness that's when the drama lessens significantly but they do start sleeping properly from about 2....

Oh dear God I remember week five, it was terrible, DH was back at work, but DD was still so little, unpredictable and grumpy...

It took until week seven to fall into our stride, and now in week twelve we have a really nice time together, I wouldn't call it a 'routine' per se, but we rub along nicely together. I think three things have changed:

1. I've got to know her a bit
2. I like her a lot better more now that she's a real tiny human (whereas before she was like some kind of strange woodland creature)
3. I feel confident in my ability to look after her

It gets easier, I promise. Be kind to yourself, stock up on easy to prepare meals that you can eat one handed with a spoon, make sure you leave the house every day and before long you'll realise you're really rather enjoying it.

My DS just turned 6 weeks and today was the first day we went to the shops by ourselves and I felt such a sense of achievement. I was put on bed rest from 30 weeks then son came early and 6 weeks till I could drive so it's been a long time. It was so lovely to just go to the supermarket and push my son in his pram. He has bad colic so the nights are hard but I'm enjoying my time with him now.

When it comes to showering in the morning, if I can get DS back to sleep I leave him in his Moses basket and have a quick one then. House work: some days I'll do nothing at all and other days I will do one or two things if I can. If I can't, I don't feel bad, I have a tiny baby to look after and day time telly won't watch itself :)

Oh forgot to add. If you need a shower it's ok to pop them in their cot/basket and leave them for 10 minutes within earshot. If they cry it doesn't matter and you'll feel much better about yourself for the day.

I found that in the early days I was way too nervous to leave DD in her cot while I showered so I put her in her bouncy chair and bring her into the bathroom with me for a shower (I leave the door open so it doesn't get too steamy) and she loves it. She's so used to it now, it's just part of our daily routine. She is almost too big for the chair now so we'll have to think of something else soon.

I came on to say 6-8 weeks and then saw that lots of others have said it too - so keep going, it starts to get easier any day now.