PND and feeling guilty

[ICantThinkOfAUsernameH]

Ds1 I had awful pnd, went back to work when he was 2 months old as couldn't cope with being a mum, took until he was around 2 before I actually enjoyed being a mum.
Fell pregnant with ds2 and was petrified I wouldn't love him or bond for a few years.
It couldn't have been any different - it was overwhelming love as soon as I had him, loved doing everything.

As not to drip feed inbetween I was diagnosed bipolar and had medication sorted for that and other MH problems so was feeling "normal" so I know that has a lot to do with it being easier this time.

I feel so guilty that it took me a few years to bond with ds1 and regret all that I've missed out on him.
Anyone any suggestions to get over this? I know it probably sounds horrible

You have no need to feel guilty - as long as you got the help you needed and your ds is safe and loved. I bet he thinks you're the bees knees! Try not to look back on what you missed out on as it achieves nothing, just concentrate on making every day count!

You struggled to bond because you had a medical problem, if you had a broken leg would you have felt as guilty? I say as guilty because I think there are very very few Mums who don't think they could have done better and feel guilty for not being some kind of imagery amazing parent.

You don't have anything to feel guilty for but that does not stop you from feeling this way. Can you speck to your mental team about this?

Yes I think I will, it's affecting me more than I like so I'll definitely get in touch with the MH team.
Thank you for the replies.