How much does your DH/DP do with your baby?

[Babyhiccups]

First time Mum here, 37 weeks today and eagerly anticipating the birth of my baby boy.

DH and I have talked about his expectations of me whilst on mat leave and how he can pitch in when baby arrives. He seems very clear on giving me some time when he gets in from work (usually around 5.15pm) looking after baby so I can shower or get the house sorted. He also wants to do the bath/bed routine so he can spend time with him, then feed him an expressed or formula bottle as his last feed to allow me to get some sleep.

This all sounds great, but I wonder if this is realistic once baby gets here? He's not one to say things he doesn't mean or won't stick to, but I wonder whether this is something men say and the reality is different.

How much do your OH's help out with the baby?

Well I see what you're saying, but actually I think this thread has been quite refreshing - lots of posters with some very even splits of domestic work, no one referring to any 'babysitting'. I totally agree with your sentiment, as does my DH - he thinks fathers who refer to themselves as babysitting their own children are ridiculous; likewise he never expects praise for doing housework stuff - he just quietly gets on with it, because it's his responsibility too. However, while I do disagree with the 'my man did the dishes, im such a lucky girl' rhetoric, I do quite often thank DH for doing something (especially if it's above and beyond his usual remit) - just because I know it's nice when someone notices and appreciates the effort you've gone to. I don't think it's me being grateful for scraps, more just the fact that we are a partnership and part of that is supporting one another - DH always thanks me and appreciates it if I cook, even if it's just chucking some stuff from the freezer into the oven. And it's nice that he does that, so I try and do the same for him.

Actually Well, I think you may have misread the thread or posters have been merely answering the op's questions rather than give the fuller picture.

My dh parents. That's it. If it needs doing, he does it. I am not grateful or happy for scraps. I co-parent with a fully functioning adult. That was my expectation from day 1.

I have enjoyed reading a thread where this is the norm, rather than the 'my dh doesn't hear the dc in the middle of the night' threads. Or the norm in my street where the wives do the parenting and the Dad's 'help out'.

Well Dh and I co-patented but in the first six months it was not equal parenting as I was ebf and off work with ds almost all day and all night while dh was still working out of the house 50hrs or so a week.
So despite all our wishes it wasn't equal in the early days and we did have to get into certain routines (like dh doing all baths) to ensure ds and dh got time together.
Now I'm back working and ds eats food it's much more equal.

DP is an early riser, I am not, so he likes to get DC up and do the first feed. During this time, I get up, shower and prepare breakfast. He then hands over to me while he gets ready for work. When he gets home from work (around 5) I give him time to change and 'catch up' before handing over to him for tea and bath.

On his days off, we share the baby related jobs. If anything, we bicker over who'll do the next thing - 'I'll do the this nappy'. 'No, it's my turn. You did the last one ...'.

• I guess the novelty will wear off soon .

Exactly the same as I do. Very equal.

We had twins so there was no handing over the baby when dh got home, unfortunately. One had colic and the other reflux so it was relentless. Dh was great and still is. As the babies got older he took on more. Initially we went with the flow and either of us did what ever needed doing, usually with either a colicky or refluxy baby in tow.

Now they are 4.5 and dh is a great dad. He often leaves me to lay in and takes our dc out for the day at the weekend.

There were times I was angry that he got to go to work and escape but on the whole 2 babies has made us stronger as a couple. Although, we are exhausted.

We co-parent. I EBF both my babies so the feeding was on me (and to some extent, bedtime) but he does everything else in equal measures when he's not out at work. He is as capable as me and we're good at different ends of the day which suits us nicely - he gets up with them in the morning, I do overnights because I'm a rubbish sleeper!

Similar to welshgirl we both just pitch in with what's needed when it's needed, but we now have two dc so that's the way it works for us. If ds (6yo) is bored while I'm feeding dd (5 weeks) then dh will build lego with ds. I do all the night feeds so dh gives me a lie in at weekends or walks dd around the house during the early hours if she's unsettled. We juggle bath/ bed time and dinner between us, nappies are whoever is holding her or isn't needed elsewhere at the time! Household chores tend to be me during the week daytimes as I have more time (ds is at school and dd is happy in a sling) but evening and weekends we just juggle. Dh is great really, and we just try to communicate what we each need to do when we need to do it. He's shit with loading the dishwasher though and frequently leaves dishes by the sink instead - which gives me the rage!!