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Parenting

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Original poster

Health Visitors

25 replies

libb · 20/06/2004 19:36

This may be a bizzare question but what should I be expecting from her?

Mine only works 3 days a week and was off sick to unable to come out - I took DS to the centre as he hasn't been weighed for 2 weeks. I am hoping she will be making a new appointment for next week as although I think I am doing okay (she said touching DP's head for wood) I would like to be sure that things are progressing as they should. DS is nearly 6 weeks old and we were signed over to the health visitor by the midwives after 10 days. We have seen her twice, once just to get paperwork done and then for measuring. I didn't realise that she still hasn't taken the letter the midwives hand out.

I don't want to assume that this is necessarily bad so any experiences would be good to hear.

Thanks

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vict17 · 20/06/2004 19:41

Hi Libb - I was signed over to mine after about 10 days too. She came to the house a couple of times and then I went to see her at baby clinic every week and then fortnightly until last week 9ds 11 weeks) when she said it's up to me when I can come again! I thought this was a bit strange but I think as ds is putting on weight etc I only need to go if I have a specific question. Ds jabs are done by nurse at my gps and not sure if nurse will weigh him when he has his 2nd set next month...

vict17 · 20/06/2004 19:42

Just to add - what I hate is when you say 'when shall i come again' and she's all airy fairy, 'well you can come in 4 weeks or 6...' I like to be told exactly what to do!!

Heathcliffscathy · 20/06/2004 19:43

some good some rubbish some even worse than that imo. don't expect much and you may be pleasantly surprised...do you feel good about her as a person, does she make you feel relaxed?

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Joffy · 20/06/2004 19:43

I only saw my health visitor once when ds was a10 days old and haven't heard from her again. My doctor's surgery had a baby clinic and I took my ds to be weighed there when I felt like it. He's now 2 yrs old and hasn't seemed to need a health visitor!

tammybear · 20/06/2004 19:45

My hv was actually my mum's when she had my brothers. I only saw her once in my recollection of the early days of dd, but I had my midwife around a bit. I saw my hv every week at baby clinic when I had dd weighed, and she said she's available to come round if she's working and free if I needed anything, and on the other end of the phone. I was given another number for another hv that was working on the days that hv was unavailable as she only works 4 days a week

Original poster

libb · 20/06/2004 19:53

Thanks for your responses so far - I can't say she is the warmest person around but then I was spoilt (or spoiled?) with some very lovely community midwives. I feel she can be a bit dismissive of some things but, as someone else has said, I don't have great expectations. Just someone telling me when to go to the doctor for jabs and things would be good as I need a kick up the bum at times xxx

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Tommy · 20/06/2004 19:54

You'll have a 6 weeks check eith your GP - perhaps you can ask her/him what you should be expecting? It seems that different HVs have different ways of doing things. I went to baby clinic (run by HV) every week with DS1 - partly because I thought I had to, partly because I always had some (imaginary!)worry and partly because it gave me somewhere to walk on Tuesday afternoons!
As tammy bear has said, there should always be a HV on the end of the phone even if yours only works part time.

twiglett · 20/06/2004 19:59

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ggglimpopo · 20/06/2004 20:01

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Samcj · 20/06/2004 20:22

Hi Libb, can't really help on this one! Just wanted to see you were ok, did my mail get to you ok? Not chasing you! I know you are busy just worrying I've upset you! My hormones are taking over completely this week!! Lots of love.

twiglett · 20/06/2004 20:28

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ggglimpopo · 20/06/2004 20:40

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Original poster

libb · 20/06/2004 20:43

no offence meant here either! I just wanted to know what the norm was - she is a nice enough lady and DS now weighs 10lb 1.5ozs at week 5 (he was 7lb 11ozs at birth), assuming that this is good so will wait for her to get in touch . . .

Samcj, sorry - I am not ignoring you so be sure to get a reply very soon! I've just had some full on days with monkey boy, he has kindly given me part of this evening to get on the computer and deal with e-mails etc. (now you just have to guess whether I am referring to DP or DS!)

OP posts:

Samcj · 20/06/2004 20:51

Sorry Libb, my sane side was telling me that was the case, but there was this niggling part of me that just kept saying 'but what if'. Sorry for being a pain, I'll look forward to hearing from you whenever you have the time/inclination!
PS can't believe Reuban is 6 weeks already!

JulieF · 20/06/2004 21:24

My HV is fab, I had fantastic b/f support when ds lost a ton of weight and refused to latch on and formula was never mentioned once.

With dd I was very confused over what happened next. Becasue I had a student come out to me for the 10 day pn visit somehow or other I wasn't told about baby clinic and had no contact no.

Here with ds I found it pretty much as ggglimpopo described. For the first few weeks I had visits every 2 or 3 days because it was felt I needed them (baby was failing to thrive)plus on the days she didn't come she arranged lots of outings to b/f support groups/clinics and even a visit from the infant feeding co-ordinator. I was then asked to go to clinic weekly (ds had completely dropped off the centile charts . She often used to phone me on the days she didn't visit and I was told I could phone her or her colleagues anytime.

Now I go to clinic when I want to which is usually every 2-4 weeks. Each time I go I am asked how everything is and if I have any concerns

Many of the mums with babies the same age just had 1 or possibly 2 initial home visits then were just asked to go to clinic whenever they wanted baby weighed or had any concerns.

Flip · 20/06/2004 21:32

My first health visitor with ds1 was pathetic! She was off sick for weeks on end. Wouldn't inform the clinic so I was never told she couldn't make appointments. So I fired her. Yes you can do that. I told the head health visitor my reasons why I didn't want this woman to be my health visitor anymore and she understood. Especially as I was blubbing in her office as I had severe PND. I got the most lovely replacement you can imagine. She visited every week and helped me through my PND. Then as ds1 got older and became impossible to handle due to his shite behaviour she made weekly visits to help me and got him referred to a phycologist.

Ds2's health visitor is crap but I haven't fired her because I don't need her. She thinks everyone should be married and imposes her strong views on you. So I just say I'm fine and then talk to another Health visitor when I visit the clinic. I'm sure she'll get the idea.

So if you're not happy and you need some help, you can ask for someone different.

Hope that helps.

coppertop · 20/06/2004 21:37

I had one home visit where ds2 was weighed and I was given contact numbers for the baby clinic etc. I had a 6-week check-up with the GP with ds2 and a 9mth check-up for ds2 with the HV. Other than that you pretty much decide for yourself when you want to take your baby to be weighed. Ds2 hasn't been weighed since his 9mth check-up - he's now nearly 17mths old.

IME HV's are helpful when it comes to normal routine stuff but not particularly helpful with any real problems. Ds1 is 4yrs old and autistic. The HV has seen him only once since he was 2yrs old - and even then that was only because our portage worker kept badgering her about it. That was about 6 months ago and we've heard nothing since. The school nurse has been far more interested - and ds1 doesn't even start school until September!

eddm · 20/06/2004 21:54

I always feel obliged to post on HV threads because 95 per cent of the posters seem to have had a bad experience... my HV was fantastic and I was really sorry to say good-bye when we moved. She was incredibly supportive to the point of going to the doc herself and getting a prescription for mastitis, taking it to the pharmacy and bringing me the drugs. Always encouraging and offering sound advice when asked. If it wasn't for her encouragement I'd have given up b/feeding very early on. Since we moved have gone back to work so only saw HV for 8-month check, apart from that is up to me if I ever want to contact them.

woodpops · 20/06/2004 22:17

I totally agree with twiglett that HV are a total waste of space. Whenever I asked them for advise on my ds all they'd say was 'well what do you think?'. I lost my temper one day and said I don't bloody know that's why I'm asking you. So when dd was born saw the hv 3 times and now she's is 18 months. I just used to get her weighed when she went to the drs for her jabs.

Linnet · 20/06/2004 23:22

my HV came to see us when dd2 was 2 weeks and 4 days. she weighed her, we had a big chat about the feeding etc and as she was leaving she said I'll see you next week same day. And I haven't seen her since, ok so it was only last week that she didn't come but I waited in especially. I'm really hoping that she's going to come this week as I would like dd2 weighed because I want to know how much she has gained and so I can figure out how much formula to be giving her in the bottles as I'm mixed feeding. if she hasn't been by Wednesday I'll take dd2 to the drop in clinic.

But we were told by midwives and the HV that she would come to visit us at home every week until dd2 was 8 weeks old.

Pagan · 23/06/2004 16:16

My HV was nice but made some comments that I felt were ill placed and none of her business, especially given that new mums can be somewhat hormonal at the best of times. Her first visit to the house she did everything that she was supposed to and then asked if I was going back to work. DD was only 2 weeks old and I had already made the decision not to return but she went on about it a bit saying I should go back as I'd lose my skills, to which I took great offence to.

Original poster

libb · 23/06/2004 18:05

I'm still waiting to hear from mine, phoned the office this morning to see if another appointment can be made so I ask about the possible reflux thing and was told she is now out of the office until Monday. I can apparently go along to the clinic on Friday - I did this last week and was met bt two women who did nothing but whine about the heat and bark instructions at me (it was my first time and didn't know what to expect!). I will see how I feel on the day as to whether to go or not!

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ggglimpopo · 23/06/2004 18:07

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LIZS · 23/06/2004 18:30

I'd go straight to the dr re:potential reflux. HV may be very nice but she would probably just refer you anyway assuming she takes it seriously.

iirc, and it was 6 years ago, I saw the HV shortly after being discharged by mw at home, then at 4 weeks, 6 weeks and when jabs were due (saw either dr or hv to check ds was ok beforehand) at drop-in baby clinic in gp's surgery, averaging once a month until 6 months.

Original poster

libb · 23/06/2004 19:09

The health visitor phoned about an hour after posting - she's coming round on Monday so I will take myself to the clinic for weighing and see how he is in the meantime - he has been better today so I can always re-attempt some civil conversation once I get there - if he is on bad form tomorrow then it will be the doctors for us!

Over the phone she didn't seem too concerned and thinks it might've been something I ate - I hope she is right . . .

Thanks for all your responses by the way!

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