Do you tell a 3yo where babies come from?

[BrummieOnTheRun]

We're planning a homebirth for #3. DD (our eldest) was 3yo in Jan. We got a lovely children's book, supplied with the birth pool, explaining what was going to happen during the birth in case she's awake while it happens. She's very sensitive, so wanted to prepare her if we could.

Now I'm looking at the illustration of the mother with the baby's head hanging out of her you-know-what and I'm wondering whether I can cope with the embarrassing comments she's going to come out with (full volume) in the supermarket!

Is this a great opportunity to start normalising the whole birds & bees thing, or far too early?

Yes I think it's a good opportunity but to be honest, if you can't cope with saying the word vagina of a site full of adult women, I am wondering if you might have some difficulty with this - no offence intended.

I think, no in fact I know, that it would upset my children to hear me in pain in labour so there is no way they would be watching

(dd2 told a large norked woman in Asda the other day that "her boobies had milk for babies in them" so I would get used to the supermarket comments!!)

shinyhappypeople - no offence taken...effects of catholic upbringing where nuns did our sex ed

Dd had one of those books which try to explain many different things for dc. It had just one page on where babies come from. She was interested in it. You could see she had been wondering about it and seemed satisfied with the brief explanation. The text didn't go into huge detail and had a couple of pictures which were in no way disturbing. She was 3 at the time and it was fine.

If she asks where they come from, then I would answer the question she asks and no more - if a child is old enough to ask the question they are old enough to have an answer, albeit in age-appropriate terms. If she doesn't ask, I would keep my mouth shut! Dd started to ask questions when she was about 3 so I wouldn't say it was too early, but by the same token I wouldn't show her graphic pictures of childbirth; there's no need at that age.

There's a really funny picture book by Babette Cole called Mummy Laid An Egg which we got for dd - might be worth a look. Or for something a bit more serious, Clair Rayner's The Body Book is quite good.

I was also educated by nuns but in my day we learnt about reproduction in flowers only, so I sympathise. I do agree with oliveoil and feel it would be less stressful to let 3yo stay with Granny when things get busy. You dont want to be dealing with an upset 3yo wanting to jump in the pool.

I'd prefer to ship her out too, EddieMonsoon, but unfortunately grannies are hours away, and as we've just moved to a new area and don't know anyone yet, we can't call on anyone.

Tks for alternative book suggestions, wigwambam. will check them out on amazon.

Hopefully she'll be asleep. Good point about everything being hidden away under water and I agree to answer questions with as little detail as possible. The main concern is that she shouldnt see her mummy in pain, so maybe you should plan for some distraction or if its at night and she wakes up then to encourage her up to bed and say its like Father Christmas and if she's very good and goes to sleep then the fairies will bring her a new brother or sister.

I'm definitely going to keep her out of the birth room. that would totally freak her out. it's just the noise that might be an issue. good suggestion on the father christmas approach.

I'm told lots of 3rd labours happen at night because you subconsciously take the existing children into account. fingers crossed.

Oh just go for it

everyone else in the supermarket knows where they come from as well, it isn't like your dd will be telling them some new and startling piece of information