Help! How do you get back on track after illness???

[Beccarollover]

Harvey is now just over 9 months - he has recently been poorly for about 2 weeks which resulted in a 4 day hospital stay on a drip, feeding tube etc - needless to say any routine went out of the window, he stopped eating and was cuddled at every opportunity.

He is now almost recovered and while Im not planning on any drastic action for a few days yet we are all over the place. There is now no structure to the day, he cant go to sleep on his own (needs rocking, cuddling and sometimes feeding) he is waking numerous times in the night and I have ended up feeding in the night again and taking him into my bed.

WHERE DO I START TO GET HIM BACK ON TRACK???

Prior to this he was having 3 meals a day, 3 bottles a day and a 7pm-7am bedtime.

His routine looked a little like this :

7am wake and 8oz bottle
8am Breakfast
9.30am Nap for an hour
11.45am Lunch
1pm Sleep for an hour and a half
2.30pm 8oz Bottle
4pm sometimes short nap
5.30pm Tea
6.30pm 8oz Bottle
7pm Bed

Any and all advice much much appreciated!!

Rebecca
xxx

Poor wee chapand poor you! Haven't got much timeright now and don't know if I haveany useful advice to offer. It sounds like you've all been knocked for six and it might take a bit of time to get things back on track. It might be best to take things slowly and try to get your nights back first as you'll all cope better with sleep.
If he wakes can you just pick him up for a quick cuddle and reassure him then try putting him back to bed without feeding? You might have to keep doing this for a while before he gets the message. Being in hospital has obviously been traumatic for you all and it seems he'sbeen more affected by it than you'd imagine.
Sorry I haven't much to offer in the way of advice, but I can identify with the lack of sleep thing and if you canget that back on track, sorting everything else will be easier! You just might need to befirmer than you'd want to especially after he's been ill and you just want to love him back to health again.
Hope things get better soon. Is he better in himself during the day?

Poor little thing. Hope he's feeling a bit better now but he's bound to be a bit clingy. My dd spent lots of her first year in and out of hospital and it does play hell with their routine ( and with my back - those put u up beds are a nightmare!). I often felt that she had regressed a bit when she came home, gone back a step, for example back to a bottle when she'd had a beaker and that sort of thing

Best thing for me was to concentrate on one thing at a time, probably the sleeping as you need it too. Hopefully the feeding will fall back into place pretty soon. Tube feeds are horrid and uncomfortable so he might be a bit wary for a while, just do it 'his way' for a bit and I'm sure the routine will come back when he's feeling brighter.

Great routine BTW, I don't think any of mine ever got that organised I'm not surprised you're missing the sleep.

Thanks for the replies both of you

I think you have hit the nail on the head whilst Im desperately missing the routine I just want to "love him back to health" BUT we all need to get some sleep to recover and its a bit of a shock after such a predictable routine not knowing what to expect.

He is fine in himself now during the day - I'd say the only after effects are the lack of appetite and unsettledness at sleep times, the actual symptoms of the illness (chest infection, ear infection and UTI - subsequantly dehydration) have all but disappeared.

I feel selfish even wanting the routine back but Im back to work on Wednesday and not sure how I'll function there when everything is so topsy turvy!

That's a rough combination!! You're not selfish - you have to go back to work, and that's just one of those things. I'm sure you'll get back into it as long as he feels reassured constantly by you. Do you have a childminder/nursery during the day who can work on the daytime routine? I don't know your situation - are you returning to work after maternity leave or have you been back already? Hopefully if you've been back already and he's had a routine between yourself and whoever takes care of him in the daytime, it might not take too long to get back into it. More difficult I imagine if you're going back after mat leave for the first time.
Sorry I don't have much to offer in the advice department, but do try to get the sleep thing sorted and good luck anyway.. Hope you all feel better soon.

Thanks Aero I have been back at work for a few months now - I work 3 days a week but havent been in for a few weeks due to holidays then time taken off to look after poorly DS.

Will try and check in later in the week and see how you're doing (am on holiday visiting parents and using their pc). Can sympathise with the lack of sleep thing. Our ds2 is 5mths old and we basically haven't had any decent sleep since his arrival. It really wears you down but his problems are for another thread! (colic/wind etc). Not his fault, but in the middle of the night all you want is some peace and for them to settle quickly!!
Hope you get some kip before Weds.

He has been so easy and predictable for all of these months and I hate the feeling of never knowing when he might sleep or eat! My heart goes out to people with difficult babies more so than ever!

The last couple of days his appetite has come back which has helped no end so Im gearing his meal times back to the usual times and encouraging naps at the right times.

Last night I bit the bullet and let him settle him self - I felt awful so close to him not being well
but he really is recovered now and I want him sorted again!!! (selfish mum ) Anyway I decided to leave him for 2 mins, 5 mins, 7 mins, 10 mins, 12 mins etc etc and at bedtime he didnt even get past 5 minutes so that was great - he then woke up at about 11 (when I had been getting him out of bed, giving him a bottle then cuddling him in with me, no wonder he remembers to get up!!) It took slightly longer at this waiting - probably about 30 mins altogether with me going in regularly - then he slept all night until 6am which is a step in the right direction!!

Cross your fingers he settles easier today and my lazy boy returns

Great news - sounds like thingsare moving in the right direction. We had a better night too last night - perhaps ds2 is finally learning to sleep through..............shouldn't speak too soon though!
Hope all goes well for Weds. Glad he's all better.

Spoke too soon! He was a bugger to settle at afternoon nap - but ate a good tea, had full bottle then put him down for night, he still cried but for probably 10 minutes in total.

So......not brilliant, but, like you say the right direction!!

Fingers crossed for both of us we have a good night tonight

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX............lots of crossed fingers for you!

Well..... last night was better - how about you?

Put him down at 6.40 - he cried for about 1 minute - became a bit unsettle around midnight but I didnt go into him, he cried for about 15 minutes then woke up at 7am this morning!!!

That's pretty good - yes better for us too - now just need to stop dh snoring!!!! Was quite noisy last night for some reason so needless to say I wasn't the friendliest person to talk to in the middle of last night, but ds2 slept from 11.30 - 7.30............Hooray. How was work?