DDs Sharing room NIGHTMARE!!

[AppreciationSquad]

2 dds sharing a room, one 3 one 4.

Up until about the beginning of the summer hols they went to bed at 6.30/ 7 and were sparko within 1/2 hour.

Now, when I put them down as soon as I leave the room they get into each others beds, playing, giggling, banging. I usually just leave them or go up and gently tell them to get back into bed (sometimes less gently if it's been a long day)

I'm at breaking point and have used "the rage" shouting more times than I'm proud of.
I have tried the nicey nicey approach
I have tried reading them a looooong story in dim light in the hope they fall asleep.
I have tried confiscating items if they don't listen
I've tried letting them watch a dvd (weekends and holidays)

Please help, I dread bedtime and feel really drained by it. They sometimes just laugh at me when Im trying to get them to go down. Today I lost it as they drenched their bedroom with soapy water from the bathroom. I put them in their room at about 6.20 and discovered what they were doing at 8.45!!!!

What's the answer, cause I need it for my sanity

I'm going to have to do something! I will try later bedtime but having to sit in with them until they fall asleep doesn't sit well with me to be honest.

I might just start putting them down quite late and getting them up a bit earlier in the hope that by bedtime, they're tired but I imagine I'd have the overtired hyperactivity to deal with then.
Maybe I'll start hitting the bottle at 6 ish so by 7/8 i'll not give a flap!!

I've had 3 sharing, aged 1, 3 and 5. I'm not sure what my magic formula was but we didn't have messing like you're describing! I wouldn't sit with them I like my evenings and mine are down by 7/7.30pm so about same time as yours.

Definitely try getting one to sleep in another room and transferring, or get tough. Sit outside the bedroom door (with wine/Kindle) and bark 'sleep!' every time you hear a peep out of them. maybe introduce a mad 5 minutes before pjs, stories etc where they can get it out of their systems, I'd be setting a timer personally!

Don't put them to bed later! They won't go to sleep any quicker and they'll wake just as early but be grizzly all day. Put youngest to bed at 6.30, oldest to bed in your bed at 7 then transfer once asleep. And agree with a gate across bedroom door. We never had any such problems.

I wouldn't do the transferring thing while asleep either. Must be disorientating to go to sleep in one bed and wake up in another.

We just have to stay with ds he won't stay in bed. He's currently in my bed though lying down but still awake so don't take any of my advice. I blame his ASD.
At times like this I get tempted to ask for sedatives when I'm next with his Dr.
Joke.

When I stay with them they don't come looking for me. Once they're in bed they relax as they don't get scared etc of the dark (which they do and have nightmares about). When they were younger it was a bit fraught at times but the revelation has been the audio books. Makes them lie still and listen!

I might try the audiobooks and sitting outside the bedroom. Staggered bedtime seems a good idea but it would have to be quite a large gap to ensure little one was asleep. Would 7pm and 8pm be ok times for 3yo and 4 yo?

I think eight is too late for a four year old up at half six. That's only ten and a half hours and unless they have a day time nap that's far too little an amount.

If you put the little one up first on their own they'd likely be sparked out within half an hour. Mine is.

We need to re evaluate our routine....

I would definitely not put them to bed later, the more overtired the less well they sleep. I have started putting my nearly 5 year old to bed at 6.30 as he was overtired and getting up early, it has much improved his night waking habits..
I would go much earlier to bed and seperate for a while at bedtime. I would think overtiredneas is what is fuelling the mucking about

I think its because they're over tired, 4yo is still asleep now and she'd be out the door if it were a school day so she must be tired.
I think they both need at least 11 hours.
Their behavior is fine during the day, generally. The way they mess about at night is ridiculous, I think they know that it kills me and it's my weak spot.

Are they just overexcited atm because of what's happening in a few days? My dots are so so wound up I'm trying to be more lenient. Normally I put them to bed at 7 read a story then turn into sergeant major. 5 minutes of 'RIGHT IT IS SLEEPTIME, LIE DOWN NO TALKING NO GETTING OUT OF BED' If they go to speak I go 'NUH-UH, TELL ME IN THE MORNING'. I don hear them after that.

Bad bad mother.

Honestly until I literally put my foot down they would run rings around me at bedtime.

They wake very very very early though, maybe I should try the same approach then...

Oh they are 4 almost 5.

Dts not dots!

Talk to 4 year old. Explain to her how now she is getting older, she can have the treat of staying up slightly later. Get them ready for bed at the same time but 4 year old gets an extra 20 mins in your bedroom or downstairs to look at books ( or maybe watch an extra 20 mins of TV) while you settle 3 year old. The extra time is only given if she then goes to bed very quietly without disturbing 3 year old. Oh and move bedtime later for both by at least 30 minutes.

Yes, they are excited about christmas and over tired 4yo from first term at full time school. But I really want to get it sorted by thethe time they go back 3yo starts nursery (15hours) in Jan and they need to be getting enough sleep by then. We tried the staggered bedtime tonight, 3 yo kicked off a bit but we ignored that and 4yo was fine, until we sent her up and 3yo wasntare asleep enough.... crying, arguing etc. Dp has read them the riot act and, they both seem settled for now.... we'll see