Finding hard bonding with daughter. Please help!

[Aly2]

Hello, I am new to this site. Having read your lovely advice to others I was wondering if you could help me. I am having a terrible day and feel like the worst mum in the world. I have 2 children, my son is 3 1/2 and my daughter is nearly 2. I am finding it very hard to bond with my daughter and often, although it kills me to admit this, I don't like her very much. She has been a 'difficult' baby from day 1. She never slept, cried all the time, has milk intolerance, excema. I now feel she winges constantly, is always ill and generally very hard work. I don't really like being alone in the house with her.I feel awful writing this because I do love her very much and would never do anything to hurt her. I was wondering if anyone has any advice. Maybe it is my attitude towards her. I have tried being really positive and cuddly with her but it seems to make no difference. I don't want to tell anyone this, including my husband, in case they judge me. Please help! Thank you.

i was exactly the same i had a 3yr old then boy/ girl twins. boy twin was a dream - the dreamiest baby ever - he rarely cried.

girl was devil child straight from the bowls of HELL!!! born with a urinary infection she has to be medicated, then developed asthma whioch the docs then said they couldnt diagnose until 3 months old. after numerous casualty visits with baby dd finding it hard to breath we were eentually given a nebuliser. she has to be nebulised 3 times a day - plus 2 other kids under 5.

she always cried. she was always ill, she was always the one who caused me grief. to say i didn't like her - was polite.

i made a concious effort to try. theres the thing you see. i forced myself to try and like her. and sometimes i did.

now - hope this doesn't make you want to slit your wrists. but it all kinda fell into place when she was around 9 or 10. she just turned into a nice person.

good luck!

I am absolutely not in the same situation but I was really touched by this post. It must be so difficult.
I can certainly understand your point as some children are really hard work. The constant whinging can drive us crazy.and the guilt of not being able to love the child properly must also be difficult.
Honestly I think you should talk to your partner/mum/sister/any close relative with childcare experience.We've all been there even for short periods of time and it's no good agonising on your own over something this important. You need to talk it through.

I'm sure you do rejoice in those few little moments where you do have a good time with your daughter.I'm sure there are some!!!
I'm not going to lecture you on positive parenting, i'm sure you know all about it. Just keep praising and never ever make her feel like she's always spoiling the moment in front of her brother.
You wouldn't want her to become convinced that she's the odd one out or you might end up with a real nightmare when she hits 15!