MIL keeps saying my baby is hungry!!

[rocketts]

And it's really pissing me off.

(Have name changed)

My 10 week old DD was born 4 weeks before my sis in laws DD and my DD has been constantly compared to her cousin ever since.

My DD is a fractious baby as she suffers from bad acid reflux, and also her temperament is such that if she's not happy about something she really yells about it! She's very vocal and can be grumpy a lot but also she can be adorably smiley and sits there cooing away.

Her cousin is the quietest baby I've ever met! I have never heard her cry, and she's slept through the night since week 2. She can be passed around the relatives for quiet cuddles. My DD writhes in people's arms and cries so they pull faces and hand her back to me

Her cousin is fully formula fed and my DD is combination fed.

Every time I see my mil and my DD has a crying fit (reflux related!) she will tell me that she is hungry and then text me later in the day to say I should take her to the docs as it's not normal, don't you think she's hungry? I think she needs feeding more, when u breastfeed her u don't know how much she's getting etc

It's driving me insane. I did get a bit sharp with her when she said it last and she stopped with the comments for a while, but after we saw them last week my DD had a meltdown whilst at their house (she honestly only ever does this at my MILs house!!) and when we got home I heard my husband on the phone to his mum saying 'no no mum she had plenty of food, she wasn't crying due to hunger'.....

I don't know what to do as I feel like I'm going to explode one day!! I'm spending Xmas with them and dreading it

Any tips / similar experiences shared?

When the dog put its mouth around her leg they put the dog in the bedroom briefly but then 10mins later got it out again....

They don't like shutting the dog away as they feel sorry for it...

I watch that dog like a hawk and hold DD constantly now. I don't let anyone else have her

Are you 100% sure DD is not hungry? I think I would struggle to listen to a baby crying that much. In a roundabout way she is probably trying to help even though it might not seem that way.

No holidays she is not hungry!!

she doesn't cry constantly. It's just when she does cry it's proper screams and extremely distressed sounding - because it's pain related.

And also I have an English bull terrier/American bull dog.she's quite big but a major softie.but whenever I have anyone to visit I keep her shut in the kitchen while we stay in the living room.even if i have guests that absolutely love her.I just don't like her getting guests hairy/drooly.
if i have children or babies in my house she is never around them because although she is a much loved family pet,I can't stand the dirty mouth licking babies faces as weak immune systems.but if my dog even dared to put a babies leg in her mouth,that's it.she wouldn't be living with me anymore.and that is with any baby,if it was a grandchild of mine,I couldn't control myself!

We had a screamer. She was EBF and we had "ooooh she's hungry" from MIL. After hearing it for the millionth time I gave her a 20 min lecture on how BF and FF differ and digest differently. (She FF her children)

That shut her up for a few weeks then she wanted me to introduce FF because I was being selfish not letting her feed our DD

I would've loved to have let someone else do a night but unfortunately she wouldn't take a bottle and never has.

And regarding the dog...I wouldn't bloody go. And I'd tell her that in no uncertain terms.

It is a MN classic line but have you tried a sling. If you wear one at MIL then nobody else can take her off you.

If I was you I would not go to MIL house due to dog and I would also be saying MIL I think you are right she is hungry but you don't like to feed in front of others so you can hide in another room.

FFS holidays, can you not read?

OP the poster who asked why her upset is more important than yours is right. Your MIL is being insensitive and is upsetting you. AND she's being ignorant.

And that's before we even get to the dog issue!

As for when it stops, usually when they are able to sit. Something about the muscle development, and also that they spend more time upright which is better for them. If you use a sling, position her more upright if you can.

My 2 DC are text book examples of how you can do everything the same and get two totally different babies because it is down to them. Their temperament, personality etc.

Both ebf, both co-slept from birth, neither left to cry. DS was miserable as sin as a baby. He got better with each milestone but he is still a pretty highly strung toddler. Brilliant in his own way and super excitable but still needs a lot of time/attention. DD, from day 1, has been content, happy and generally a very easy baby. Happy to be passed about within reason and gives anyone who glances in her direction a Hollywood smile (DS gives everyone a suspicious frown!).

Nothing done differently - it's just the way they are.

If they try to make unfavorable comparisons to your niece or how they think your dd should be then turn it around on them to make however your dd is just right and the other way the 'wrong' thing.

So if they say she'll be underweight - 'don't be silly MIL, the gp/hv/etc said she is a perfect weight, I don't want to feed her more and make her overweight, that would be a horrible thing to do to a baby'
(And yes, i know, babies aren't really overweight but we're talking about giving the op ammunition to talk back to her overbearing mil).

As for the dog - there was a horrendous thing in the news the other day about a dog that attacked a toddler, the mother went in to try to save her toddler while carrying her baby in a sling. Dog switched from toddler to newborn, bit the baby in the sling and killed it, had not occurred to the mum the dog would do that and had thought baby would be safe from harm's way in the sling... Toddler badly injured as was the mum. Dog belonged to a relative who reckoned it was child friendliy. Might be one to look out and use as evidence to avoid visiting...

The dog putting his mouth around your baby's leg is most worrying. Do you think your baby is picking up on the fact you are not relaxed at your MILs due to the interfering and judgemental comments and not relaxing because of the dogs behaviour? I would not put my child in danger regardless of your MIL or DHs feelings. I can't believe he is not concerned. Tell her you won't be bringing your DD round unless the dog is shut away. Close down conversation about the crying by saying she only does it there and the health visitor says her weight gain is fine.

Another one here saying "sling". It will probably help your DD to be upright and it's a lot easier to breastfeed on demand, if you wish to.

Regarding the dog, it needs to stay in a separate room - perhaps putting a child gate across the door? It may be worth talking to SiL about this as her baby will be equally at risk from the dog and as a united front, you may be able to exert more pressure on MiL to be control her animal.

Please look into cows milk protein intolerance. Your baby sounds an awful lot like my little one.

I would just tell them she's crying because of reflux and not hunger. I would also say well I'm her mother I know her best. I know it sounds harsh but it's true