13mo hasnt slept more longer than a half hour at a time since friday night. DD IS EXHAUSTED. We thought it was teething and I was left to deal with it as DH works nights at weekend. IM EXHAUSTED. Monday night was marginally better with a four hour stretch from 10-2 then up six or seven times to comfort. I am not of the disposition Where I can leave a baby to cry. I just cant do it. I made myself physically ill up with her on friday and saturday night as I was just so helpless to comfort her. Tried distraction, cold teething rings, sticks of cucmber, calpol, iboprophen, teething gel, dummy, cuddles, co sleeping, more/less blankets/clothes, singing, whitenoise, walking about, bouncing on chair, feeding, and rinse and repeat x ten. We are at our wits end because the crying/wailing/screaming is relentless and seemingly unstoppable. What the hell do we do?
The worst of it is - I know there must be something wrong as this is so out of character for her. She developed a rash yesterday but it looked viral and I thought it was a virus from the weekend coming out in her - explained horrendous weekend and slightly better night on Monday. Iv got a doctors appointment fornher this morning but the earliest I could get is at 1140. Iv just started a new job and today is the third meeting with bosses. I have scraped through the last two days but I am shaking with fatigue, rage and adreneline this morning I dont know if I can cope. DH is trying his best but for fuck sake - not good enough!! He went out on the lash on Monday night and didnt get home until 2 in the morning!!!!! Selfish bastard.
My main concern is my DD. It is heartbreaking to see her like this I feel terrible I cant soothe or comfort her. Honestly I just want to sleep. But I cant as I dont think DH or my parents could do any a better job than I am. To think of her crying endlessly is really killing me. I feel sick. I want to cry and I want to throttle DH. Im disgraced at myself as I have lost it and shouted and cried a good few times over the last few days. I try not to shout in the same room as DD because I really dont want to frighten her but I cant help it. There has to be some release of this awful energy and I would rather shout than start throwing things! Im just so fucking done.