Working 'full time' mummy

[Moominy12]

Short story...

I'm 24 with an 18 month old daughter. Had a rough pregnancy, then gallbladder removed 3 months after giving birth then my daughter had meningitis at 6 months.

This completely destroyed me mentally and was diagnosed with pnd and put on tablets. I'm now no longer on them and returned to work when lo was 10 months doing 2 and a half days a week to which my mother in law has my daughter the whole time.

I know I'm incredibly lucky to have this childcare and couldn't have returned if I didn't. She's now 18 months and we're simply struggling financially therefore looking at upping to 4 full days a week.

But I'm terrified my daughter will suffer with my additional absence? As when I drop my MIL home after work, my daughter cries as she leaves yet doesn't batter an eyelid when I leave. This breaks my heart.

Any advice on others in this situation?

Ouch, sounds like you've had a stressful time. Well done on your recovery and getting back to work.

I really don't think your daughter will suffer. She clearly loves your MIL which is great - the more loving people in a child's life the better in my book.

If anything it will be you that suffers as you will miss her and it sounds like you will worry about her getting closer to your MIL than to you? I wouldn't worry about that, she will still know who her mummy is. Please don't read too much into her crying after the MIL and not after you - it could simply be down to it being a different time of day, your DD will be a bit tired at the end of the day and all DC struggle with changes/handovers a bit at that time.

I work 4 days, out of the house 11 hours a day. We have a nanny while I work. My DDs love their nanny but they know I am their mummy and when you add up my 3 days at home plus mornings, evenings and night wakings (sigh) I see them much more than the nanny does.

It sounds like upping to 4 days will be better for you all as a family - including your DD - if you are struggling financially now. It does seem like the right decision, I know it will be hard on you but it doesn't sound like it will be hard for your LO.

It's so hard going back to work. I went back 5 days after dd1 and it was awful. I also had to put her into full time nursery which I hated. I quickly dropped to 4 days and it helped a lot and my mum retired so she took her 3 days and mil one day . I think 3-3.5 days would be my perfect scenario but can't really justify dropping more hours.

Both my girls adjusted well to me going back to work. They adore my mum and mil but they're sometimes quite clingy with me on my days off. However I'm a teacher and during my long holidays I find they're ironically far clingier with me than when I'm working. I think it's good for them to have a bit of time with grandparents and we always have family time and stories and songs for bed and cuddles so they always get their mummy time.