Sad I'm missing out :(

[sleepynewmumxo]

I'm a new mum, to a gorgeous 3 month old bundle of joy! Took us 2.5 years to conceive her, so she is very much loved and wanted! I am EBF which is going okay, but I am trying to get her to take some expressed milk however she HATES the bottle so its a work in progress. I am how ever sad I'm missing out on things. Because she won't take the bottle I can't leave her, so I've had to cancel various things (dinner with girls) and my Christmas party. I feel guilty for wanting to go, but also feel exhausted and would love a little T/O. My OH has been out on a night out and is away out tonight and I'm so jealous! I know that being a parent is all about sacrifice, but it's so hard. The guilt for wanting a break is horrible!! Not really sure what I am wanting from this post, maybe for someone to say it's normal! I feel so selfish :(

You are not selfish to want time to yourself and to see friends. Your identity is not solely linked to being a mum :)

DS is 5 months old and I've been to the cinema a few times, and to a concert. Next week my DP and I are going to Christmas dos on the same night, so my sister is babysitting. I refuse to feel guilty about it.

Good luck with the bottle! I'm sure there will be someone along with tips :)

It's definitely normal to want to be 'you' and do things by yourself. I love breastfeeding but do feel tied down at times. I think it's especially hard at Christmas time when there is lots of socialising happening. It will get better as she gets older and goes longer between feeds/starts solids. Can you make some plans of things you can do on your own, even if it's just coffee with a friend or if your OH is nearby with the baby so you can do a feed?

Hi there. Yeah it's a tough time of year and when you are a FTM it's difficult to get your head around the change in lifestyle. My third baby also EBF and now nine months old had never had a bottle and I don't want her too (I have never been able to express so I resigned myself it's always going to be boob). It's probably a bit late now for Christmas events but perhaps arrange a lunch date with the girls with baby in tow? Or go to the Christmas Markets? Or a Christmas Lights thing? It's not the end of your social life, it will just be a different one. With no booze ...

Thank you!! I guess I needed to vent to people who would understand! I have had a few days out with baby and friends, and loved it. It's all worth it when she laughs or smiles at me! This parenting job is hard work

Bless my husband, he's just walked back in the door (with chocolate!)

Good on your husband!
At times I have to bite my tongue not to be openly jealous of DH going out. I have no problem with him going out (he doesn't often anyway) but I want the same freedom. My DD is 9 months now. I'm back at work and got a few nights out planned. Will feed her and leave DH to do bedtime and hope for the best!

Your husband sounds ace :)

It is tough, really is, none of mine have taken a bottle. What would she be like if you took her with you? I have a group of friends who I get together with for drinks and a meal a few times a year and over the years we've been doing it there has pretty much always been one of us with a baby tagging along. We sit outside in bars (places with patio heaters and blankets in winter!) and play pass the baby in the restaurant and it is lovely. Sometimes the person with the baby skips the drinks and just comes to the meal but all personal choice.

It will pass slowly. She will get a bit more predictable with feeds in that you'll be able to feed her and be reasonably confident that you can have 2-3 hours before the next feed so you become able to go for coffee with a friend at the weekend or even pop to the pub for a couple of drinks once she has gone to bed. Then she will start solids and you'll be able to leave her a little longer knowing that she can have a drink of water and some food if she is hungry before you get back (though she will launch herself at your boobs the minute you walk in the door) and before you know it you'll be able to leave her the whole day and she will be perfectly happy with food and other drinks and just breast feed when you are home. And then you will look back on the time she was totally dependent on you with misty eyes and rose tinted specs. It is easy to tell you to enjoy this time and hard to do, don't I know it. But call a couple of close friends,sort something out that you are able to do, tell them you miss them, catch up and offload on them and you will feel a million times better and far more able to be able to snuggle your baby and enjoy those peaceful feeds.

He is ace. He's an awesome guy, I feel like I don't appreciate how awesome he is sometimes. He would do anything for us.

Thank you all for the words of support, I do take a little comfort that it's not forever, and I no doubt will miss this stage once it's past. I miss the newborn cuddly sleepy stage! Lol x

It is hard

The first time I was away from my EBF DS was when he was 7 months because I knew in my absence he could have some water or a yogurt. I was away from him for about 5 hours and it felt heavenly just having time to myself.

My second time leaving him was when he was 9 months old and I got to go to a Christmas Party - I only lasted about 6 hours though as my boobs were in agony by that point

Being tied to an EBF baby/infant is hard but like you said, it's only for such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things and then you'll have your social life back before you know it

It's hard, especially over Christmas. I cancelled all my plans last Christmas, and was frustrated as hadn't done much the previous Christmas due to being pregnant, my DD eventually took the bottle at 8 months, and I actually regretted giving up so soon in the end. I am however looking forward to letting my hair down a bit this Christmas instead :) Hope you have a good one

It's hard, especially over Christmas. I cancelled all my plans last Christmas, and was frustrated as hadn't done much the previous Christmas due to being pregnant, my DD eventually took the bottle at 8 months, and I actually regretted giving up so soon in the end. I am however looking forward to letting my hair down a bit this Christmas instead :) Hope you have a good one

I'm in exactly the same position DD 5 months won't take a bottle. I've just cancelled my xmas party and resigned myself to the fact I won't be doing anything at all this season. It sucks!