Sad I'm missing out :(

[sleepynewmumxo]

I'm a new mum, to a gorgeous 3 month old bundle of joy! Took us 2.5 years to conceive her, so she is very much loved and wanted! I am EBF which is going okay, but I am trying to get her to take some expressed milk however she HATES the bottle so its a work in progress. I am how ever sad I'm missing out on things. Because she won't take the bottle I can't leave her, so I've had to cancel various things (dinner with girls) and my Christmas party. I feel guilty for wanting to go, but also feel exhausted and would love a little T/O. My OH has been out on a night out and is away out tonight and I'm so jealous! I know that being a parent is all about sacrifice, but it's so hard. The guilt for wanting a break is horrible!! Not really sure what I am wanting from this post, maybe for someone to say it's normal! I feel so selfish :(

Congrats on the baby! And yes, feeling like this is totally normal and no, you're absolutely NOT selfish. It's a pain when they won't take a bottle and I understand how trapped it can make you feel. I actually think that the NHS should be more up front with the risk of bottle refusal when they give the advice not to introduce a bottle until at least six weeks.

Not much in the way of advice except for to keep persevering with the bottle. Once my DS got to six months and started on solids I found it far easier to leave him. Congrats again - your love for your little girl shines through your post, she's lucky to have you!

I somehow managed to post this twice! But thank you!! I feel a bit better now. And yeah I agree, bottle refusal is a tough one! I waited til 6 weeks, by then she had gotten so good at BF she just point blank refuses the bottle. It's a hard choice, risk nipple confusion and try early, or risk bottle refusal and feel stuck!

Yeah, I think that happened a lot. We were lucky (kind of!) that I had to go to some emergency medical appointments when DS was about three weeks so he had to have a bottle then. He was fine with it at that age and it didn't affect BF, although he was and remains insanely greedy so was happy with anything in his mouth as long as it dispensed milk! I found expressing too annoying to do it much though, hence understanding how trapping it can feel.

*happens a lot, not happened a lot

IME nipple confusion is utter bollocks you have my utmost empathy/sympathy OP: been there, done that with DC1 Velcro-baby. Introduced bottle along with breast for DC2 and found that to be what worked for us. Kept bfing until 15mo so DC2 really wasn't confused!

Your mantra? A MN cliche. "This too shall pass." One day your DBaby will be a DChild (maybe even at school!) and then many, many a fun night out can be had. It just sucks for you that this Christmas has had to be put on hold.

I think, don't worry, she is only 3 months, when she is 3 years (for example) you won't remember this time being hard. It passes really quickly. Yes in the short term it's a bit rubbish to miss out on stuff and you feel tied (my second refused a bottle) but this time next year you'll be able
to go out and about with no problems I'm sure

It is such a brief period that your child be be a tiny infant that you can't leave. You will have many years of going to Christmas parties. As tiring as it can be, you are literally only going to have this for a few months of your child's lifetime.

I really feel for you OP. We actually had DS1 on a bottle per day from early on and felt very smug but then at 3 months he suddenly refused and I was trapped inside every evening for the next 3 months, as well as spending way too much money on a pointless bottle collection.
At 6 months I caved and paid for some private advice. It was quite astonishing how well it worked and I will pass it on here in case it helps you in any way at all:

1. Warm the bottle slightly warmer than you've been trying (obviously not so warm that you'll scald the baby!)
2. Swaddle her firmly so she can't push the bottle away
3. Sit on a chair/side of bed with her resting on your knees and bounce her up and down on your knees - the jiggling is to distract her from not wanting the bottle
4. Introduce bottle and pray!

Separate approach: could it work for your DH to attend your works do with the baby? Sit in a corner/office/car near by, whatever, anything to give you the chance of a little fun time to yourself. You can feed just before you go in and you can get called back a couple of hours later for a top up. It won't harm her to have a slightly odd evening routine for just one night.

Thank you all so much! I feel a lot better. Thank you for the advice too! Xx

It's tough but this time will pass quickly and soon enough she won't need your milk quite so frequently. You can start to go out for a few hours here and then for an evening. It feels like a lifetime away in the early days but you get there. Currently ebf my 2nd DC who is 7mo. Some friends (without children) don't understand and have started to drift away but those that are true friends will still be around in 6 months or so when I can leave her with her dad for an evening and see them again.