Looking for the light but only at the beginning of the tunnel!

[RedLemonade]

I don't want advice. I don't know what I want tbh. Just a vent.

Two DDs- 2.5 yrs and 4 months. I've just started back to work PT (family business so I'm needed).

I'm just feeling burnt out really. The staff at work are thrilled I'm back- mountain of admin chaos built up during my absence. So much to do it would take 2 full timers to really sort. But there's just me! But I do love my job and I think I'm better not being a SAHM ( not that that's an option anyway).

Unfortunately DD2 is sooooo not ready for me to be back at work. Refusing bottles, won't nap for CM, and the poor little mite just cannot cope with being awake longer than an hour. So I'm having to get her down for a nap before I go to work, and then come back about 90 mins/2hrs later to feed her and get her down for her second nap but even then I know she's hungry and missing me by the time I get back.

Thankfully I work basically next door to home. But obviously it's just impossible to really get stuck in to work when I'm constantly clock-watching.

Plus DD2 is now deep in 4 month sleep regression territory so we're both awake a lot at night, though we do co-sleep a fair bit.

I'm still expressing of an evening in the hope that she'll take a bottle some day soon. Trying new teats tomorrow.

But by the time I get home at lunchtime (again!) I'm already tired and so I find myself relying on Fireman Sam way too much in the afternoon for poor DD1

I just feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water.

DH is great and dives right in with the girls as soon as he's home at 6 but we work together so he has been picking up the slack massively during my mat leave so he's exhausted too.

Like I say I don't know what I'm looking for here. Just maybe someone to say they've been in a similar place and it got better! I need some hope! Much as I adore our lovely DC I just feel a bit battle-weary at the moment. Sorry for massive rambly post. Bloody hell. Really need to go to bed now!

Sounds like a tough time!!
Don't be too hard on yourself, going back to work after 4 months is bound to be tough for both of you but it's obviously something you have to do. Although you're playing catch up remember you're not going to be able to do this all at once. The sleep regression won't last too long and that might help baby to rest better and settle better without you during the day.
I married a dairy farmer and had little to do with the business until I started my maternity then found myself trying to help him with all kinds and trying to look after the baby, it is tough. I think when it is family run it also adds to pressure because there is such a direct affect.
You're doing really wel by the sounds of it and I'm sure in time and when sleep regression is over things will become easier.
Be gentle and kind to yourself xxx