Asking DC's to kiss people goodbye

[xStefx]

First post, please be gentle :-)
With Christmas coming up I thought it would be an appropriate time to ask this question. Ive always told my daughter not to kiss people goodbye and just wave unless its very close relatives e.g Nanny and grampy ..
last year I took my DD who was then 3 to my MIL's family party and when it was time to leave my MIL asked my poor daughter to basically go round and kiss everyone goodbye (now a good 20 people , mostly strangers to my daughter may I add were puckering up for her). My poor daughter looked shy about this and I told her (quite loudly) to just give a wave as we had to be going. Well it was brought up about 3 weeks later (in jan) that my MIL thought I was rude in front of her family and I told her that I actually thought it was rude making my DD kiss people she didn't know ( I don't want her thinking she has to give someone a kiss because she is asked for one). Mil's response was a tut and a shake of the head followed by her mumbling that I was being silly.

We have another family party next week yay :-( and I intend to do the same and not force my daughter into giving kisses to people she doesn't know. Am I just being oversensitive (as it is extended family) or do any of you agree?

Never pressure a child to kiss anyone, whoeever it is. I sometimes ask DS to high five his grandma, and that keeps them both happy.

Now unless she was told to give tongue I wouldn't have a problem with it. Kissing as a greeting is very normal and not sexual so using it to 'teach kids they have a right to their own body' is rediculous in my opinion. It has the same status as a handshake in my culture. But if it seems sexual to you, then I can understand you not wanting your kids to greet in that way.

I would have been pissed off at the round robin of greetings whether they were a kiss it a handshake or whatever. It's a bit much on a child. A polite 'goodbye' to the room would have been fine and a kiss or hug or whatever for whoever walked you to the door.

DD1 is 3 and is always given the option of "cuddle or wave" or "cuddle or high 5". She is in charge of her own body! Your MIL is out of order.

Its really nothing to do with it being 'sexual' (which of course it isn't). Thats not all bodily autonomy is about.

I remember having to go round and kiss everyone goodbye at family gatherings as a child and I don't remember it fondly. I didn't mind kissing my nan goodbye but felt awkward kissing all my aunts and uncles even the ones I didn't see very often.

Even as an adult, my dad told me off other day for not kissing my stepmum goodbye when I left my their house! I'm not even close to her and she hardly spoke to me when I was there and seemed to be busy in the kitchen. Ugh I just don't get it.

My family also think it's a great idea to kiss kids on the lips which DH and I are not massively happy about - don't want our toddler or baby getting cold sores. Not sure how to express this to them without sounding rude and uptight - for them it's just normal level of affection so I know they'll turn their nose up at me if I say anything.

It's not so much that it's sexual, or could be perceived to be, it's that children have the right to say what happens to their bodies (excepting medical procedures).
DS (9) has never made to kiss or hug anyone. I'm quite firm on manners though, so insist on him saying goodbye nicely to guests (so stopping what he's doing and having a proper conversation, instead of yelling "bye!" from another room etc! ) but he's allowed to decide who he is physically affectionate with, and when. I think that's an incredibly important lesson for children to learn.