Grandkids being treated differently

[Missushb]

hi, just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to handle this? My DS is 4, sister in laws daughter is 2, I know my son is older but the 2 year old just cries anytime things are going her way and my DS has to give up what hes playing with. Niece was playing with my sons toy on Sunday when we were all together, and my son went to take it off her, she wouldn't let go and started crying, and her mum, by SIL said well she did have it first. ...does it not matter who actually owns the toy?! Im not a fan of the SIL as my DH is treated very differently from her, she is the start of the show and parents run after her, whilst my DH has to do his own thing, so I know I may be a bit sensitive here! Any thoughts? How do you intervene without starting an all out argument with the in-laws?! Everyone runs after the SIL and this has now started with the daughter too.

I don't let DS (2.5yo) snatch toys from anyone regardless of whether he 'owns' it or not. Play dates would be a nightmare. I put away any previous toys that I know he would have a tough time seeing someone else play with before anyone comes round or I don't let him take hem out of the car if we are going somewhere with other children. Unfortunately I agree with your SIL here. However I would probably have encourage my 2yo to let your DS have it back or take his turn or tempt him with another toy. I wouldn't make him if he was playing with it first though.

It feels like there is more going on here but without something more specific that 'GPs running around after SIL' I can't really say if YABU or not.

Precious toys not previous

I know its hard with toys, its more the quick intervention I suppose. The kids play really well when there isnt adults hovering above them. DS was playing with his own toy first, then niece took it off him to play with, he let her and then tried to get it back. I've not posted on AIBU, it was more really for advice on how to respond when its your child that has to do all the sharing.