Please, how do I become more patient and mess shouty with ds?

[WeedlesHatOfDisappointment]

I have 4 year old ds and 3 month old ds. The baby is fine, but I find I have such a short temper with 4 year old ds. He is just being a normal 4 year old, but I end up yelling at him for what feels like a lot of the time. It makes me feel shit, but I don't know how to break the cycle. I don't want him to grow up hating me....

LittleBee I'm by no means saying I've got it sorted! But perhaps it's ok to weed out the things that don't matter. I find, too, that having spent focused time with DS I can then say, " I need to do this now but we can play again when I've finished" and then follow through on your word, so DS learns that you are consistent and do have time for him but equally you have other commitments.
Yep. Simple, right? And lower standards on cleanliness and grooming and make time for wine

OP, that all sounds encouraging!

Thanks jaffajiffy.
I struggle so much with getting time with my girls coz I feel so snowed under with house work and then work that I have to bring home. Constant guilt.

bee you sound like you're very much in my situation. Lowering my expectations today has really helped.
I was talking about this with dh tonight, and he said that my maternity leave was not to clean up the house, but to look after the boys. I know I'm only day one into this, but it has gone well. Part of it was knowing that I wanted to update this thread, and would have felt really awful if I'd have had to say it had all gone wrong on the first day! I am feeling a lot more positive though, and it was nice to send ds to bed knowing we'd had a good day.

So glad today went better weedles.
Just one day at a time.

Much better here today too. I've been at work most of the day mind you but the kids were much better this morning and tonight and I made sure I gave them lots of praise and cuddles and just enjoyed them.

Hope tomorrow goes well. X

You too bee tomorrow should be easier, as we have a play group in the morning, then ds has nursery. Only slight issue is dh is out tomorrow night, so hopefully they will both behave at bed time.

To try and lessen any stress in the morning, I've got all their clothes together, and already planned breakfast. I think that's a key point to reducing the stress, planning