3 month old sleeping crying advice needed please!!

[KatyR]

Hi there, new to this site so hiii!
My 3 month old baby is driving me a little nutty and just wondered if people had some advice...
I am trying to get a vague routine going with her, but can't decide what seems realistic - atm I am going for bed between 7pm and 8pm, wakes up about 1-3am for feeding (please someone explain dreamfeeding to me - seen it a lot on here) sleeps again til 4-6am feeds again, dozes for a while until I drag my lazy behind out of bed at about 8am. She feeds at approx 3 hour intervals during the day and has about 3 naps of an hour or so, sometimes less. This is a random average as one day can be different to the next - when she was 2 months i had guarenteed 6 hours sleep from midnight til 6am - bliss!!! Sorry to ramble on and on!!! The problem is, in between she is just a grumpy ratbag who's only wish is to be carried around. If left she cries but in a grumpy groany very very loud way! I think she's just bored as when I pick her up she stops instantly. How to entertain a 3 month old???! I would 'wear' her but can't wash up/do the laundry with a baby on my front!!

Katy, "dream feeding" is waking them about 10/11pm and giving them a feed when they are half asleep. This is meant to encourage them not to wake in the night and sleep through 'til 5/6/7am or whenever they wake.
They do start to get "bored" around this age. Have you got a baby gym? Try lying her under that for a bit. Bouncy seat? Take her out for a walk in pram so she's slightly elevated & can have a good look around.

Or get a sling, then you can do stuff round the house or use it when you go out. Also get friends and family round, I find they LOVE to entertain the little one for an hr or so and it's a different face for them!

By KatyR on Fri 16-Feb-07 14:56:25

Thanks, its reassuring to know they do get bored around this age. She has a gym which she likes for a while in the morning. I am being a bit rubbish with going out, and I don't know why. I can't seem to motivate myself to go for a walk just round the streets. I think it cos I don't like living in the town and need proper air rather than petrol fumes! However anybody got any ideas about how to motivate myself to get out?!

(KatyR appeared to accidentally start a whole new thread instead of posting on this one - didn't you KatyR? Welcome to Mumsnet. You will get used to navigating around soon!)

Dreamfeeding is feeding the baby as you go to bed whilst they are still asleep (although they do wake a little, obviously, but not as much)

Have you got a bouncy chair? And a washing machine? Put washing machine on and baby in front of washing machine whilst washing. You might get a bit of time to yourself this way.

Coorie puches are often recommended on this site for hauling baby around during the day. I can search if you want a link?

Yes the dream feed is literally picking them out of the cot/moses basket and keeping them flat so that they stay asleep (hence dream feed) then of you stroke their cheek or pull their bottom lip down, their tongue will come down from the roof of their mouth, insert bottle or breast and they feed. She shouldn't need winding as she shouldn't gulp it down, so you can just lay them back down after they are done!!

I used a sleeping bag with mine and laid a muslin on my arm so that my son's head didn't go from my nice warm arm to a cold sheet. Muslin went into the cot with DS1.

At 3 months think I cycled him round a baby gym, bouncer, on his tummy on a play mat, lying on your tummy whilst they lie on theirs. Admittedly not very interesting for you!

Motivation to get out - meet other mums and either walk together or go to each others houses. I joined a mother and baby group at the insistence of my HV and met 2 other mums just like me and we used to meet up once a week for lunch and take turns at which house we had it at. We all lost weight that way, it means that you put on a bit of slap and then you can all walk your children afterwards.

This probably sounds incredibly boring but the mums were great and our children played together (even if it was them just lying on a mat in the first few months before they could roll away)

The Baby Whisperer EASY routine I found great as there is no clock watching, just go off your baby's signals, Eat, Activity, Sleep and the Y is time for YOU!!! IT WORKS!

Instead of picking your daughter up, try to get down on the floor with her otherwise you'll end up like me wearing a 21 lb baby (he is my 2nd and was incredibly poorly till he was 5 months so he was used to being held and carried everywhere -severe reflux if laid down he puked)

Phew, long or what?

Thank you for your advice Its good to hear. And thanks for moving the reply to where it should be Winestein!
Hotpot thanks for that, I have tried postnatal group but without wanting to sound like a madwoman, its so silly! We are all there being told that if we talk and play with our babies they will learn to speak and interact with others....NO, really???
Going to give the dreamfeeding a try I think...
Just recently she's been getting overtired and cries so sadly, it breaks my heart! She seems so sad and teary, not just loud and cross like her other crying. Nothing can stop it but walking about and jigging. Anyway, thanks all for advice, greatly appreciated

KatyR - I too can recommend EASY routine. My DD is 10 weeks and this really works for me. She just used to cry all the time and never seemed happy and EASY made me realise when it was time for her to nap and consequently she is much happier and more independent of me when she is awake. Also found that the more sleep she got througout the day and the less overtired she became the better things are at night. Other thing that everyone seems to say to me is that things will get better and you just have to go with it at this stage and try and enjoy it! Keep trying to remember this!

katyR - my ds is now 6 months old, at 3 months we did as many others have suggested - play gym (although he has got more out of that more recently) he went in his bouncy chair -we found putting him in different places in different rooms helped eg taking him into the kitchen, talking to him whilst washing up/doing bottles etc, putting him in front of the washing machine, bringing him back into the lounge and holdng different toy up for him,putting him infront of the window, he also enjoyed being on his changing mat with no nappy so that he could have a kick about.

As for the dreamfeed i would certainly recommend it. We have done it since day 1 and has helped him sleep until around 6ish (though he was still having an early morning feed up until about 13 weeks)

sorry for the epic reply hth

we had ds in a brilliant routine from day one. but i'm not allowed to tell you which routine it was !

Aaaaaaaah winks to you then! I couldn't face that one
Will try rotating her places/entertainments more frequently, she does watch me wash up hang out laundry etc, then has a kick on the bed, etc etc, just need to change place more frequently I think!
Will give EASY a go....although she likes to sleep after feeding so not sure how it will go. SB - I do find she sleeps better at night if she sleeps more in the day, but is refusing to sleep for longer than about 30 mins at the moment!

katy, my ds only sleeps for 1/2 hour blocks too and has for a while now. The difference is now he lasts 2 hours in between sleeps, whereas 3 months ago he could only last 1 hour iyswim. good luck!

Hi KatyR, definitely reconsider a sling or carrier, ds was just the same and in the end I went with "sod the washing up" and just did it at time he didn't want to be carried, he is only tiny once and the dishes will be there for all eternity.....! We moved our day around so that the times in which he wanted more contact (usually evenings) I intentionally didn't try and plan anything else, and just hung out with him until he went to bed, carrying him about, playing etc. Mornings were best at that age, after the long(er!!) night sleep he was often happier to have some of his own company in his bouncy chair or on his rug with some toys near me, while I got a few things done.

If you can manage it, outside trips are definitely good as the change of air also makes them tired and they sleep better, plus being able to see lots of new things. We used to go out in the sling a lot and I'd talk to him about things we'd see. Still loves it, but especially at that age when it was all new and he loved being cuddled up.

Also try the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, really good ways of looking at how the day is structured and tells you how to make sure you find a pattern that suits you and the baby, and not just shoehorning them into one off the peg! Very gentle and really works.

Failing that, "it will pass"......!! good luck

Thanks a lot Kitbit, I think getting myself out the door will help, she does love to look at new things and its good for me to walk! Will be interested to look at that book as thats the kind of thing I am interested in, thanks for the suggestion.
True it willll pass but it doesn't seem that way when you're living it day to day wondering if your child is the only one who doesn't have any kind of structure to their day!

you're very welcomes, hope I helped a bit!! Try not to be too hard on yourself too, and things will settle soon enough, even in the early days when I lurched from one piece of confusion to the next, ds managed to get himself into a rough pattern probably in spite of me!
Just a last word in support of slings....! I found/find it makes getting out of the house much more attractive especially for short walks, as it saves the whole rigmarole of getting the buggy out, loaded with bags/blankets etc. Big coat on, in the sling (OK maybe a blanket in the sling as well as warm coat!), out of the door. Especially if motivation is an issue in the first place.
Good luck, you´ll be fabulous

Thanks again, very kind (and motivating too ;)) words, greatly appreciated

To Katy R: I saw your entry on the post natal thread. My DD was born on the same day as yours! All the problems you have discussed here are very familiar to me. My DD is quite a good sleeper, going from 7.30pm to approx 6am, but she hardly naps at all during the day and can be grizzly. I don't have any tips to offer in addition to the good advice already given; I can recommend a large glass of wine at 5pm every night to get you through the "witching hour". Best wishes

Hi anon! I haven't met anyone else with the same birthday as DD yet! The witching hour is right!! Luckily DH comes home around 6pm (and the little monkey always gives him the hugest grin!) so he takes her off me for a while. Wine is a great idea but since being pregnant and breastfeeding it gives me an instant headache! How irritating Has your DD started dribbling for England and biting you? Thats her latest trick!!

Katy, Yes DD dribbles constantly. I asked my HV about it and she said it means that her teeth are moving down. Yikes - haven't recovered from colic yet!!!!

TEETH???!!! No!!!! Not yet please! Mind you I was luckier than you as we didn't have colic. I have bought her one of those dummies with a gum shaped piece rather than a teat, she loves it and bites on it so hard! Do let me know when you see a tooth emerging then ;)