4 year old telling me EVERYTHING!

[Loutom1979]

I wonder if anyone else has come across this!
My 4 year old son has always told me quite a lot, esp random info! But in the last few months he's told me everything he touches and insists on me responding!
I just touched my ear
I just touched your coat
My spoon touched the table
My arm touched that ladies leg
I just touched my shoe!
Sometimes i think it's reassurance that he doesn't need to wash his hands, and needs me to acknowledge this! He will repeat himself until I answer him, and sometimes tells me that 'he doesn't need to tell me he's touching his ear' But it's hard to tell what it's all about!
I am always explaining he doesn't need to tell me all these random things, but obv I don't want to deter him from telling me things I do need to know!
Any ideas???
Thanks in advance

Why does he need reassurance about handwashing?

I don't think he likes to wash them, but also doesn't like dirty hands, so needs me to confirm his hands aren't dirty so he doesn't need to wash them! If that makes sense! I'm basicalllu reassuring him that his hands aren't dirty!
I think maybe it's germ related! Which may explain about spoons touching tables too!

To be honest I really just need advice on how to deal with it, I don't want to make it worse, hopefully it's just another phase!

Well if the root cause is because he wants clean hands then you need to tackle that... have you or someone scared him about germs?

It sounds a bit like OCD? Why is he aware of germs? Do you have OCD op?

Germs is not big on my worrying list! He virtually lived on a building site until he was 3! My husband is always ensuring he washes his hands when he comes in from the garden/garage etc (which is common sense) but I think he really looks up to his dad! so whether it has just planted a seed that has grown over time!
I have thought about all these factors! Just not sure how to play it, was hoping someone may of had a similar experience

I Am not remotely OCD! My husband may have a very slight OCD, but not with germs, he's quite particular when he cleans the house (I would never be able to do it to his standard!) luckily after 10years he accepts this!
Again, I did wonder if it may be the start of some kind of OCD, but really wondering how to nip it in the bud... if possible!

Maybe try doing some messy play or gardening together and make a big show of 'ooh mum's hands are dirty, never mind, I'll wash them in a bit/before I eat'?
I know you should wash hands when you come inside but I often forgot with my dc and he survived. So not too much emphasis on hand washing and don't mention germs. Most bacteria isn't harmful anyway etc

My dd would narrate her entire life. 'Oh that lady has a green coat and she has a very big dog and it is fluffy and I saw Jane yesterday and she had a fluffy hat and Jane likes sausages and I like sausages and can I have some sausages tomorrow but not today because...."AGH!

My dd's ramblings encompassed almost every subject. Anything that passed through her mind whereas your ds sounds like he needs you to tell him it's ok to be a bit grubby.

I think things like this are normal in some children, just little obsessions they develop to make sense of the world around them. My son at age 2 was obsessed with vacuum cleaners, everywhere we went he'd ask if there was a vacuum cleaner, shops, restaurants people's homes! His favourite thing to do was look through the Argos catalogue for ages at vacuum cleaners! It went on for months and I got a bit worried about it but he grew out of it eventually and is perfectly fine.

It's weird though! My husband is a builder and my son's (the other one is nearly 2) would spend all day in the garden or garage with him! They are generally typical boys, with tractors, diggers, lawn mowers, wheelbarrows etc Mud doesn't seem to be an issue, - yet he'll paint, but wash the paint off every 5 mins or so!
I often forgot to wash my littlest ones hands and he eats half his dinner with his hands!!
He does keep telling me he's just looked at someone 'but that's ok isn't it mum?' Too! But I think this is down to the 'stranger danger' conversation!
I think he literally takes what we 'advise' and emphasises it ten fold! He's a sensitive little boy!

My son is obsessed with camper vans! He will talk endlessly about how we would transform our car into one!
He has just started school too! So it does all time with that!
I'll just be extra sure not to put emphasis on anything!
Thank you

I might be wrong but for me this rings bells as an expression of anxiety. He's seeking reassurance "I'm doing THIS, is it ok?" OCD is also about anxiety - taking control to reduce anxiety, which is why it seems a bit similar I think.

Any recent changes in his life? New stressors? Has he just started school? Can you have a chat with his teacher?

Can you have a simple conversation about worries and see if anything is on his mind?

Yes he has started school! I did mention it to his teacher, she had also noticed it (he seeks the reassurance from any adult) we said we'd just keep An eye on it, but it's def worse! I have talked to him about school and any worries but there doesn't be seem To be anything!
Apart from this , he's the same happy chap as usual! Lots of love to give and coming on great at school!!

I'd guess it is a response to anxieties around starting school, it may well just resolve has he settles in and adjusts to the knew routines.

You could try a few things to support him in the meantime, perhaps have a dedicated one to one time with him each week when your partner has your younger son, and just follow his lead in play. He might be reassured by knowing what is going to be happening each day if your routines change much. And I wonder if school might assign a particular staff member just to check in with him a couple of times during the school day so he builds a strong relationship with them and could over time get used to telling them if things at school are making him worried.

It's probably a bit early to worry about OCD or any need to nip it in the bud, etc. Maybe just emphasise continuity and consistency as much as possible in his life, and make sure he has regular access to an attentive and listening adult (which it sounds like he does already!), both at home and school. You can always ask your health visitor for advice too.

Thank you! My health visitor was my next idea for next week! It's been tough balancing 2 kids, school, work and life in general! And then there's the guilt over not putting enough time into the younger one!
Thanks for your advice, I'm sure your right!

It's called 'chuntering' - completely unfiltered verbal utterance of everything that is in their heads

Both DS3 and DS4 did this.
Constant stream on consciousness coming from their mouths - so whatever they were obsessed with they would go on and on and on about!
Funny but wearing after a while.
Yes, it's a phase, it will pass.

Oh, and just be low key about the whole 'I touched something' thing.

Yes I agree to low key responses
"Oh did you, that's ok"
"Oh yes I saw you" etc it might help him to realise its no big deal as you're not reacting to it.

Thanks everyone! It came to a bit of a head this morning when he cried because he'd touched the loo and had to wash his hands but really didn't want to! We've had a sit down Chat about germs and how washing hands Is important but it's not the end of the world - he won't get sick from touching the loo seat at home! He seems to of taken it in, But we will see! X

Maybe someone has told him he shouldn't touch anything and he is taking that to mean not touch anything at all (which is impossible), and he is just checking what he has touched with you for reassurance that it is OK?

Posted too soon. Meant to add that he may be checking the boundaries of what he is allowed to touch.

If he's worrying about germs, this book is really lovely: Tiny: the invisible world of microbes. DD was amazed that some microbes are helpful rather than harmful.

Hi, I’m experiencing something similar with my daughter who is also 4, I realise this is an old thread. I’m just wondering how your son is getting on now. Thanks in advance

Hey I know its been a while since you posted this but wondering what the outcome was? I have a 4 year old that just started doing the EXACT same thing. I touched my shoe, I touched my eye, I got water in my mouth, I touched a worm..... Strange stuff