Second child just learns how to do things independently

[GraceNotes]

I have noticed that my second child just seems to go through all the development stages without me really teaching him anything.

When my first child was a baby/toddler I read loads of development articles as she grew up. If it said - She should now be doing xyz - i.e. putting hoops onto a pole, posting shapes in a shape-sorter, etc, then I started trying to teach her to do those things. I felt like she needed a lot of guidance and presumed she probably would get 'behind' if I didn't teach these things through play.

However, I just don't have time to show my youngest child how to do things. He is just over 1 years old. My older child is so demanding that he just tags along and often goes off to play by himself more often than my DD did.

Amazingly, I've found he is learning all of the development tasks somehow, at the right times. I turn around and there he is putting hoops on a pole and doing jigsaws. I know people will say it's because he watches my eldest doing those things, but I don't think that's always the case. He's also worked out how to use a spoon independently and a cup with no handles.

I've come to the conclusion that perhaps children do not need so much guidance and will naturally do things?? What do you think?

I think you may have misinterpreted things with your first (as many many of us do). The developmental guidelines are simply averages of what many children can do or start to do at that age.

They won't get left behind if they aren't shake sorting or stacking hoops, they aren't necessarily geniusly gifted if they're doing that early.

Children explore, and have a wide interest in the world. They learn through play, through trial and error, through watching.

So yes absolutely your second child will learn things from watching your first. And your first learnt from watching you - and would probably have learnt anyway through watching other children at playgroups, or just from banging things together until they realised some bangs were more effective than others.

Chances are when they got it right you have them massive praise - that feels good, so they work out what got that praise and do it again.

I don't think you need to teach children how to stack hoops or thread toys or whatever else it is. But I do t think there's any harm in teaching them to either, as long as it's something they're interested in learning and ready to absorb (so it might be a little unkind to expect a 1 year old to be learning to write, but whether you coach the three year old or leave them to it, they'll probably all be doing the same at 7).

I think agree that for the most part kids will learn on their own. I think there are some (like my ds) who need to get right stuck in and fiddle with stuff to see how it works and what you can do, and others who prefer to watch it happen a few times first.
So don't feel like you've wasted time or done it 'wrong ' with dc1, maybe they needed to watch you do it a bit first. Either way, I'm sure time spent with you did them a world of good

Children are individuals.

I think I had this attitude with my second: he'll just learn everything naturally. Instead, he struggled with lots of things that my eldest had just picked up as a matter of course, from dressing and feeding himself to telling the time and learning to read.

If I had been more on the ball, it might have been better for him. But I was a second child myself and had great belief in the maturity and independence of second children