Am I failing at parenting?

[Pigeonpost]

I am not coping with my DC at the moment. 3 DS aged 3, 6 and 8. They are doing well at school where they are polite, sensible little boys with excellent feedback from their teachers. But at home they drive me bloody crazy. I am a SAHM and DH is away quite a lot with work.

How can I teach them to be nicer people who are less selfish, more polite, more considerate and more aware of others around them and how their actions might impact others? Or am I expecting too much at their ages? The 8 year old is marginally better than the other two but still prone to being very silly and rather flouncy like Kevin the Teenager.

I don't know but thank you for your post. I came here to post something similar because sometimes I can't cope with my 6 year old and I feel like a horrible person and feel like crying.

It sucks doesn't it? I originally typed a really long post with lots of examples but decided it was too long for MN so deleted it. They are wearing me down. Supernanny style talking to them calmly at eye level does shit and I am sick of screaming like a fish wife to get them to listen.

Me too, I actually have a sore throat from screaming at my daughter. (I never thought I would be this kind of parent.) She is very strong-willed, feisty, challenging. I find it very hard sometimes (I'm a single parent, so no one to play good cop bad cop with or take turns.)

I recently read How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk. There were a lot of great tips in there. One I've used that works (strangely) is writing what you want on a note instead of communicating it verbally. (Funny because my DD can't yet read.)

I think the fact you're even questioning yourself and trying to get help speaks a lot about your parenting skills. If your boys are happy and healthy then I say you're doing a great job! I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old and I have days were I really beat myself up but I didn't have a great upbringing and I seriously doubt my parents worried about me or my siblings in the same way! Keep up the good work raising babies is exhausting but we can only do our best!

We're all shit parents sometimes and our little angels are shits too sometimes. It'll be fine. But when it's not get them outside. Even in the rain. Go to the park, the garden, down alleyways 'bear hunting' even in awful weather. Coats on and Garden for an hour. Best recipe to cure mad kids imo!

Yika I will look at that, thank you. I am considering reading Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph too.

I agree that more outside time helps but we live by the sea and in the summer they spent upwards of 4 hours a day at the beach and were still little shits at mealtimes. I think if I could crack the mealtimes that would help a lot when it comes to me losing my shit so I will focus there to start with.

Try really small portions. Much smaller than you think. They won't be as overwhelmed at a large plate, be able to eat quicker and concerntrate on it more. One thing I found helpful for little shit number three child three was asking him to help cook. Not for long, nothing major just 'can you quickly stir this while I do X' then tell then others that child A made it. Far more likely to eat it and be distracted from the other too. Worth a try? Good luck

Thank you so much for posting this, I just spent most of the morning crying about the same thing. My 4 year old can be so so lovely but sometimes he is just horrible. I feel like a failure.