New area- finding it hard to make mum friends

[Chattycat78]

Hi all

Just that really. Moved about 6 months ago before ds2 came along, moved to a small town where a lot of the mums seem to know each other already and be in little groups. I go to toddler groups a few times a week (have a baby and a toddler) in town, and while that's good for getting out, I can't seem to get beyond the superficial chat with anyone, especially as it seems like none of them need any other friends so I don't really want to push myself onto others. It's also hard trying to chat to people anyway when I'm at these things trying to attend to a baby and a toddler!

I keep seeing little groups of them together in town through the week when I'm on my own and I feel a little envious, as well as lonely if I'm honest. Maternity leave can be hard if you don't have people to hang out with.

Is it just me? What can I do?

I feel for you OP, this has been me so many times! You need to persevere and try to get into a group. It's so hard and disheartening. I'm currently in a worse position, I'm in another country, my son is at school and I've not really made friends. It's hard. You will make friends but it may take a while. Would it be worth trying to organize a mums night out? A few drinks one evening at a local pub? Everyone makes friends after a glass of wine!

Good idea - and yes I have suggested a xmas drink to a few of them. Let's see if it happens!

Sorry you're in the same boat. - it's not a nice place to be I know. Especially if you don't have family nearby(I don't either).

Have you tried mummysocial.com? I met some lovely people through that website as everyone is in the same position looking for new friends.

I've met a few nice mums through the MUSH app. Where are you based?

I get exactly the same way when I moved down here. I was miserable. I made friends with one mum through my son's nursery which gave me confidence to speak to other mums. I then invited them all to my son's third birthday party where my new friend collected contact details from everyone for a mum's night out and it went from there. Everyone was very receptive to it and we have several whatsapp groups now. Mums in groups should also be more aware - I remember my friends and I sat in a cafe before I moved area and a lady with her child started chatting to us. I still feel so guilty now that we didn't ask her to sit with us.

*felt not get!

Not thought about meeting people online I must admit. Will try it! I'm in North Yorkshire.

You could also join the local "mums and babies" group on Facebook, and just ask on there if anyone fancies a coffee? Always gets a good response on our local page.

I moved to a new area whilst pregnant with my first child and whilst I made some superficial acquaintances, I didn't make what I would consider real friends until my eldest started school. I do all the drop offs and pick ups so see the same faces every day, plus it's in all our interests to make an effort to get to know each other as our children will be in the same class for the next 6 years. It will get easier as your children get older.

Thanks Madge - that's comforting and helps to know it gets easier.