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Original poster

Child excluded from nativity play

23 replies

sairzz · 29/11/2016 14:37

I don't know if I should be upset or not but my child is clearly heartbroken about this and as any mother knows it effects us just as much when your child is upset,
For the past few weeks my daughter has gone on about the nativity play, she is in her last year of primary so this is the last one for her, the school have been holding auditions for different parts to which my daughter has attended all, she did this as she just wanted any part,
We had a chat about how she might not get a part and she was OK with that until now, she has informed me in between lots of tears that she is the only girl in her class who didn't get a part in the play and that she just gets to watch, now I'm not one of those parents who like to moan about everything But.... Would it have really hurt them to have thrown in an extra angel, sheep or whatever? I don't know how to make it all better for her, I can't even do the " try again next year" as it's her last year, she says she feels excluded, I would be more happy if some other girls in her class also didn't get a part but as it's just her I feel a bit broken for her, what should I do?

OP posts:
sglodion · 29/11/2016 14:40

Im not one to contact the school but in this case I absolutely would. I've never heard of auditions for a nativity, in most places I know of every single child in the school is in the nativity.

mintthins · 29/11/2016 14:43

That is really shitty. I assume that there is no reason (e.g. poor behaviour) and that it is an oversight, but if it is an oversight, it is a special sort of self absorbed member of staff who didn't notice what they'd done. At the same time though, are there girls in other Y6 classes who have not been involved?

BroomstickOfLove · 29/11/2016 14:44

Oh, that's really sad Sad

I'd definitely let the school know how upset she is. If you don't want to be too pushy, flag it up as something for them to be aware of and sensitive about and ask them consider changing how they organise the play to a more inclusive model for next year.

In our school, there are three plays throughout the school year. KS1 get the nativity, and the play is written so that everyone who wants a speaking part gets one, and the ones who don't speak still get a moment of standing up on the stage to shine (quietly).

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Redcrayons · 29/11/2016 14:47

That's just rubbish. Everyone gets a part in the nativity in everyone I've ever been to. Even the quiet, shy ones who really don't want to be on stage get to be 'in charge' of props or scenery or something.

Definitely have a word.

BastardGoDarkly · 29/11/2016 14:47

I'm all for taking disappointment on the chin, but this isn't ok, I'd ring the school and ask why and how the hell can they leave 1 child out!? Don't go in blazing though, there may be more to it.

averylongtimeago · 29/11/2016 14:47

If she is the only one without a part, I would be upset. If there is a group of them, less so. You first point of call is a chat with the teacher.
If you find she is the only one left out, then make a fuss. As you say, what difference will one more sheep/Angel/page boy/ tree/ random animal make to anyone other than your daughter?

AndNowItsSeven · 29/11/2016 14:49

The only girl? That's just mean definitely speak to the school.

averylongtimeago · 29/11/2016 14:49

Oh, and at the last nativity I went to there was a whole flock of sheep and a galaxy of angels

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 29/11/2016 14:49

Is she the only person without a part or just the only girl?

FatOldBag · 29/11/2016 14:49

That's really mean. In nursery if you weren't anything else then all the remaining girls were angels and all the remaining boys were shepherds. At school, everyone gets a part but it's not nativity, it's some vaguely Christmas themed story. I'm sure they could do with an extra sheep or something up on stage. I'd ask the teacher.

Scrumptiousbears · 29/11/2016 14:50

My kids are too young for school but certainly from memory everyone was in the play? How can they not include everyone? That's just mean.

mouldycheesefan · 29/11/2016 14:51

I would speak to the teacher.
I would just ask her to clarify what's happened as your dd is upset. If you don't speak up for her, who Will? To be the only child not given a part is probably a mistake. It seems highly unlikely that one child is deliberately excluded, just check.

LovingLola · 29/11/2016 14:52

Contact the school and ask to speak to the teacher. I find it hard to understand how one girl from the whole class has not been included.
Hopefully you will find out that there are crossed wires somewhere!

ohgoodlordthatsmoist · 29/11/2016 14:53

This happened me at school, my mum asked the teacher if there was a mistake as she wasn't sure what my costume should be and was told I wasn't in the play but not given a reason.
My mum took me Christmas shopping to Dublin the day of the school play and sent in a note saying I was unable to attend due to family circumstances.

Original poster
sairzz · 29/11/2016 14:58

I asked her if she was the only one entirely but she couldn't answer as she only knows for her class as they came around to let people know what parts they had, I know there are a few boys who didn't get or want a part, she is very well behaved at school so that's not the reason either, she even asked if she could have the day off when the play is on but I've told her no, I think she is more upset about it as since summer I have enrolled her into weekly drama classes, when she first went she wouldn't do anything as was far too shy but now her confidence has come on leaps and bounds and she was really doing well coming put of her she'll so I'm hoping this won't knock her back, I told her this morning that when she goes into school to have a word with the teacher and tell her about how she feels being the only girl in her class not chosen, she said she didn't really want to as didn't want to get told off for moaning, so I will know more if she mentioned it in the next hour when I pick her up.

OP posts:
Redcrayons · 29/11/2016 15:06

Maybe they've just announced the main speaking parts and they'll be dishing out the Angels/sheep/tree parts next.

BastardGoDarkly · 29/11/2016 15:14

How old is she op 10? I imagine that would be quite a difficult conversation for her to have with her teacher, I think you need to do it.

missyB1 · 29/11/2016 15:26

Auditions for the primary school nativity? Good grief! All the kids should be in the play surely? I would pop in and ask the teacher if there has been a mistake.

Atenco · 29/11/2016 15:33

That is horrible, OP.

Original poster
sairzz · 29/11/2016 16:06

All is now resolved, daughter spoke to teacher today and told her she was upset and asked if she could at least be put on a reserve list incase of people not showing up, the teacher said there isn't any reserve list but has given her a poem to read instead, daughter is happy again, thanks for listening to me rant x

OP posts:
BastardGoDarkly · 29/11/2016 17:10

Bloody right too! Well done dd ☺

youarenotkiddingme · 29/11/2016 17:15

You handled that really well.

You were right IMO that it was wrong to exclude one child - but getting your DD to handle it herself has taught her something as well as the school staff.

My Ds was the only one not doing assesmly for years - but that was his choice!

mintthins · 30/11/2016 14:06

That is a lovely resolution! Well done to OP's DD for speaking up, and to the teacher for coming up with a positive solution!

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