DSS taking 2 hours to eat every meal... Help!!!

[Stepmum123]

DSS literally takes 2 hours to eat every meal, hes just turned 3. We have reduced his portion sizes, given him things he likes, have a star chart system and a prize for finishing the meal. He will finish it but only after 2 hours of stress and persuasion. We have tried taking it off him if he hasn't finished after an hour but it never makes a difference. Hes not tired, still naps for an hour a day and sleeps 12 hours at night we are at our wits end he literally spends half his waking day eating and we're all miserable. Please help mumsnetters

Clearing your plate at every meal is a really bad habit to get into.

My three year old is the worst eater ever. If i put her at the the table to at she would take an age.

So we stopped. Lunch and dinner we put a small selection of food on a table in the lounge and she grazes on it..probably takes an hour but she is relaxed, playing in between.

I can't see the point of stressing over a mealtime. I often don't want to sit down to a huge meal, why should we expect a toddler to?

Oh and mine is constipated badly and on movicol....she wouldn't eat a vegetable but loves fruit...never eats meat or fish..basically her meals are plain pasta with butter and a bit of Parmesan and then fruit. Every. Damn. Day! She very rigid about what she will and won't eat.

Paediatrician said not to worry and not to force foods...that way eating disorders lie....

No point in stressing. My three year old is a variable eater - we have found it easiest to let him choose (from a healthy dinner) what he wants to eat and if he complains about hunger later, he can have a piece of fruit or yogurt. We also do a lot of grazing for lunches - I will make up a sandwich and a selection of fruit/veg and leave him to graze. If I get worried about his five a day, I usually make a smoothie (never yet turned down!)or get him to help me in the kitchen - a lot of veg gets munched during dinner prep.

If fibre intake is a problem, what about some flapjacks or similar with fibre rich food that you would be happy for him to munch in the afternoon as a snack?

Take it away after 20 mins is a good idea.
2 hours is insanity, you are turning meals into a battleground.
Offer the food, if he doesn't eat it no big deal.
Offer a healthy snack that is very small between meals e.g small fruit or a cracker and cheese.

My DD also suffers from chronic constipation and is a terrible, terrible eater.

The constipation predates the eating problem though!

I would still back off even if he eats no fruit or veg. This is a battle you will not win. Constipation in children is so common and is usually down to sluggish bowels rather than poor diet (obviously a good diet helps, but it's not the cure).

What about eating veg and stuff? He has a digestive problem so needs lots of fibre in his diet and gets easily constipated. There's no chance he will get that in him if he has the option of it being taken away no problem after 20 mins.

He may be associating eating and having to go to the toilet

Btw fibre is good for constipation , but they must have a lot of fluid too otherwise it gets worse . I am surprised your GP hasnt prescribed a bulking agent

Mix some psyllium husks into whatever he drinks. Tastes like nothing, will put a good bit of fiber in his diet.

I've had a fair few issues with food with my DD who is now 9.

Making a 3 year old sit for two hours is ridiculous. My HV at the time said give them the exact portion you think they'll eat. Give him half an hour and take it away.

He doesn't get it back and can only have fruit or yoghurt after or between meals that's it.

No wonder your miserable if you're battling this long! HV also said making a fuss about it all is the worst thing to do.

Great advice about getting rid of sticker charts, taking food away after 20 mins and not making a fuss.

Someone upthread mentioned referral to a speech and language therapist - some SLTs specialise in feeding and swallowing issues and can be very helpful in getting parents and children into good healthy feeding habits. If you have a service like this in your area, you could request referral through nursery. I'm a SLT myself, although not a feeding specialist, and I recommend the feeding service very highly

My now 4 year old went from being an amazing eater to really fussy earlier this year.
Making a fuss made it worse so I just used to put her food down and eat our dinner at the table having a normal conversation then clear away her plate. After about a week she started eating normally again as she realised she wasn't getting any more attention.

Try serving the veg as the first course?