Non attendance at my child's 18th

[user1479839219]

Help! I don't know how to help my daughter. It was her 18th on Sat and the vast majority of her 'friends' failed to attend her party despite talking all week about how excited they were to be coming, what they were wearing etc. It would appear that this was planned and she only found out on the day of her party, I suppose for maximum effect and to ruin her day. She is devastated, so hurt and humiliated and she just doesn't understand why. Neither do I. She hadn't fallen out with them, she thought they were her best friends. She found out a few of them had instead planned to go to the Christmas markets in Manchester, just next to where her party was. I've known these girls and parents for years. Indeed I thought the girls come from good families; Drs, Lawyers and teachers so I know they have been raised better than this. My D now doesn't want to attend her college anymore but she's just sat the Oxford exam and has had great Uni offers already. She's so much to look forward to but she's just so upset by their cruel treatment she can't see it. They re no longer even looking at her at college let alone explaining themselves. I need advice on how to help my daughter recover from this. Has anyone any advice?

Similar happened to me when I got a BF and my friends were single but would have liked a BF themselves. I bet there's a guy involved.

It really just highlights who her real friends are. Those mass non attenders were very fickle, impolite, immature and cruel. They knew this would really hurt your DD but chose to behave badly.

Fancy not attending something prearranged. Fancy not letting the host know you weren't going to attend. Fancy blanking the host after standing them up.

Would they have been allowed to go to the markets or do you think they may have used your daughter's party as a cover story and swanned off into town?
Sounds like they are ashamed of they won't look at her now. And so they should be.

Load of bitches! It reflects so badly on them but not your DD.

They are all capable of choosing to apologise but are cowards or have somehow justified their abysmal behaviour

That is terrible. I couldn't not ask the parents, is there one you know well?

I found at college that friendships can change fast, it may feel like there's little time left but she can still make good close friends. Is it a large college? Is she in classes with lots of different people?

Poor girl

Girls can be so spiteful. It says a lot about them and nothing about your daughter.

I am so sorry for what happened to your poor daughter.

Is there any possibility there was a genuine en masse mistake? Otherwise it is extraordinarily unpleasant of these other girls. They must be so very nasty that you'd think they'd have shown some signs of this before, and would have shown before that they were not really her friends. Is there a new forceful ringleader among them? Could you ask one of the nicest of the mothers if she has any idea what happened, as you said you have known some the parents for a while?

Of the ones who did come, are there any your daughter likes quite a bit or any who are more studious as she must be she could she spend the rest of her year with as her friends?

It's bullying by exclusion. And exceptionally nasty. I wouldnt say this is "normal" teenage girl bitchiness, I've never known anything like it and I teach this age group.

Your priority needs to be bolstering your daughters confidence and self esteem.