Would you ever want to know ...

[ninenicknames]

You are the result of an affair?

Yes

Not sure. It's a bit of a grey one. I think it would be one where the parent would need to gauge how it would affect the child concerned.

Mind you, plenty of my generation have been told they were 'accidents' and seem to cope ok- something I would never tell my DC!

Yes I would.

Why not?

20, 30, 40 years on, surely it doesn't matter any more?

I agree with a PP, quite a common occurrence for the youngest to be told ''you were our shocking surprise"

I would not want to know that I was the result of a rape though. No no no. But an affair that happened a few decades ago? That wouldn't upset me personally.

I guess it depends on if the biological father was present. It's a different kettle of fish to saying "you are the product of an affair and the man you thought was your dad isnt"

My ex believes he actually is his uncles kids rather than his dads. If anything it's actually made him more loyal to the man he calls his dad

It depends. If it changes who they think their parents are then yes!

Marriednotdead - so you would lie to your DC?

I don't think it's important as long as the child is loved. My son was not planned for the time he came, but he doesn't need to know that. I wanted him and love him and that's what is important.

Fortunately I don't need to. But would I?

If I thought for a second that knowing they were unplanned would affect them negatively, then I would if I was directly questioned.

Unfortunately I didn't have unconditional love from my parents so perhaps my view is skewed by that.