My four and a half year old gets upset and hysterical when I try to dress him - how can I stop this?

[Nancery]

I can't tell if this is just awkwardness or something else.

Every morning when I try to dress him we have the same argument. He won't wear anything willingly, and it is like I am trying to prise him into a scratchy jumper or a bag of bee's. Its horrible and we end up shouting almost every morning. Now it's cold I cannot let him not wear a proper coat and warm top, and so the situation is getting more fraught.

He has no skin issues, or medical issues, but has never liked being covered or dressed (as a baby he HATED those sleeping bags, for example). I am now wondering if it might be some kind of sensory issue rather than just bloody mindedness - is there such a thing...? I have no idea! Or is it just that he doesn't like it, and it has turned into a bigger and bigger deal?

He's a lovely easy going child in pretty much every other way and we are finding the daily drama's quite distressing!

Has anyone any experience of the same or any ideas...?

Thank you

I am passed caring if I am accused of neglect, tbh. You get to know your child and the environments and contexts they can cope with and work with that, not the judgements of others.

If he likes long-sleeved thin tops would be wear two of those and forget about the thicker top which probably makes him feel uncomfortable.

It does sound like he has sensory issues.
Warm doesn't necessarily equal thick, by the way. You could try him with a merino base layer top, they are very thin but warm without you knowing it. Also look for puffa type jackets, the down filled type, they will be warm without being thick and heavy.

At four, surely he can just put on extra layers as he sees fit? Why create a drama by enforcing extra layers of clothes that he hates before even establishing if he needs them? Let him wear what he is comfortable in, then go out with extra layers which he can voluntarily add as he feels he needs them. I offer my two and four year olds jumpers and coats if the weather is chilly. If they don't want them on, I don't insist they put them on, but take them out with us. They go on without a fuss if the weather dictates.

I'd leave him to it as much as possible. Just one rule if you really must (for example, no PJs after breakfast). On his head be it if he gets chilly - he's big enough to put on a jumper if he wants.

At that age I opened DD3's t-shirt draw and said 'show me which ones you won't wear and tell me why'. She went through and said 'that one's itchy, that one has a line across the tummy, that one sticks in to my arm.....' and basically whittled her drawer down to about 6 t-shirts she was willing to wear.

Same with bottoms, etc.

YY to puffa jackets. DS will wear his over a long sleeve t-shirt and vest. Sweatshirts that go up to his neck, not a chance, ditto jumpers. Zip up hoodies or fleeces maybe.