Daughter grounded but it's her best friend birthday ?! !

[Lhigham]

I have grounded my daughter for a month with no phone and she has accepted it as a punishment. She had a party at my house while I was out so in big trouble. The last week of the grounding is her best friend's birthday party meal. Meal and sleepover! Should she still miss them or just do the meal, not sleepover?! Finding it hard to stay strong!

How old is she?

Lhigham - can I suggest you consider letting her go to the sleepover too? If you feel,she has learn d her lesson, has accepted the grounding thus far, and has already missed a number of things, then now might be the time to temper justice with mercy.

I would offer her a choice - either she goes to the dinner but not the sleepover, or she goes to both, but earns the sleepover by doing some serious chores. That way she is not getting off scot free.

I thinkmit is a good thing to show our children that we can be firm, but also that we can be fair and kind.

I think I will let her do the meal but no sleepover, that way she is still aware her actions had consequences.

I agree.

Grounded is grounded. She needs to know that her behaviour has consequences for other people as well as herself. It's tough but what she did was very wrong and had consequences for you too.

Grounded is grounded. Saying that I would only ever ground dc for one week. I think a month is too long.

Roughly how old is she? I agree with meal but not sleepover. Seems a reasonable compromise. Unless the best friend was the illicit party instigator in which case, nope!

I would let her do both. As others have said a month is a long time and if she has missed lots of things then I think she will appreciate you giving her this leeway.
I would take the opportunity to have a serious discussion with her though first and make sure she is genuinely sorry before I told her.

IMO it depends on whether the length of grounding was proportionate to the misdemeanor! An unauthorised party sounds pretty bad, but if it was (say) 5 friends making lots of noise and boozing a little that's not as bad as 50 randoms trashing the place!

If the month was R then it should be carried through IMO.

A friend (age 14) once lied to her parents about staying at a friend's to go clubbing: she was grounded totally for 3 weeks then no sleepovers for another 6! We all thought that seemed fair enough at the time, but felt sorry for her when she had to be picked up to go home.