HELP - how do I establish whether my 13year old (yr9) still believes in Father Christmas?

[Wills]

I have four DC and she's number 2. I have always operated v. strict rules that protect the younger one's beliefs so as an example when my eldest (3.5 yrs older than DD2) once told her the FC doesn't exist she was subsequently not allowed to help in the (after the younger children have gone to bed) Xmas eve preparations which I have tried to make as grown up thing that only people who can keep the secret can do. So.... DD2 now knows that the easter bunny doesn't exist but also knows to "keep the secret" so that the younger two can still live in that lovely "bubble". But this has meant that whenever I question her on Father Christmas I don't know how to interpret her response. She responds almost as rote, but is that because she knows my rules or because some part of her still believes. If you could suggest ways that I could approach her I'd be really grateful.

Do you really think her friends all sit saying what have we asked FC for this year? Or is it I've asked my Mum for iPhone 7 she said no it's so unfair!!

I can't remember when my boys stopped, as they are so much older than DD that they would always have kept the magic alive for their little sister.
However, this year she is 9 and asked me outright "He's not real is he?"
I told the truth and now Christmas just seems so much less magical as it is the first time in over 20 years that I do not have a little one who believes.

Thirteen years old. Well she knows, but needs to keep you happy by pretending.
How could a man on a sledge that parks in the sky and comes down the chimney of literally billions of children all over the world, be real to a thirteen year old. I mean by now she will have watched the news, done some science, and will have a picture of how the works works. Once you know the speed of light ( which my 9 year old was explaining to me this week) , you're going to have trouble with the toy delivery concept for a start.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I am really surprised about how unrealisticly you view your children.

Year 9 not age 9? I cannot believe that any year 9 would still believe.

Unrealistically , sorry

My 23 yer old sister still runs downstairs on Xmas morning screaming 'he's beeeen!!!'. There's no need to have the conversation to confirm if she knows the truth. Haha.

Really? Wow.

I think you need to give her an opportunity to discuss it with you. In a way you have created this situation with the whole strictness around keeping the magic alive. (I do get this by the way but maybe she has taken it very seriously?) So she maybe feels as if she has no option but to go along with it.
I would engineer a situation where it was just me and her, and casually say something like 'you've done a great job about keeping the secret of Santa alive for the little ones, thanks. Could you help me with (insert appropriate job eg making reindeer food or whatever) this year?' I bet she'll feel relieved! Good luck.

I'm 40 and I still don't admit that I don't believe. The magic of Santa Claus is one of the best things about being a kid. We all need some magic in our lives - nothing will get me to admit that I don't believe in FC to my stepchildren and own children.

This

Well mine are now 17 and 20 and they've never admitted they don't believe in case they don't get the presents

I've never thought it necessary to force the truth out of them.

and all similar posts.
I like the one about parents having sex too
It is right, that - if only those that believe get stockings from him, then obviously they all believe.
I did try to suggest to my 6foot plus now 20 yr old ds, when he was 18, that Father Christmas might not bring him a stocking this year, and he was MOST put out.

At 13 I knew FC wasn't real but I pretended to believe and DM pretended to believe I believed...We both understood the deal!!

It gradually wore off but FC still brings DSis and I a stocking (leaves it at DMs house who brings it with her when she visits at Xmas). We are in our thirties!

Fuck, I've killed another one

Fluffy I am 40 and my mum STILL does me a stocking!! I can't let go of a tiny smidgen of hope that reindeer might be on the roof. I also obsessively watch Xmas movies throughout December. So cool...

I still believed at 12.

I told DD(10) the truth about the tooth fairy several years ago. I had to tell her again recently, she was in utter disbelief both that she didn't exist and that she hadded been told previously.

I tried to sit DD down to ask her where she stood on Father Christmas... She steadfastly told me Father Christmas existed.

I fear she might be like me. Father Christmas (and the tooth fairy) is too magical to ruin it be not believing.

I stopped believing at about eight because I found the presents from "Santa" in my mother's closet. I was so careful with DS, and I think he genuinely believed until he was about ten. He's twelve now, and he says he believes, but I know he's smart enough to have put two and two together. But, like PP have said, sometimes it's nice to just keep up the illusion. He's never said anything to me, so as far as we're all concerned he does still believe, and that's all there is to it.