Nativity Show - Son Refuses to Take Part

[Mablethorpe]

DS (8) attends the catchment CofE school. He's in year 4, and this year the nativity show for parents is voluntary. The school has given the children the choice of taking part or not.

DS is refusing point blank to take part this year and we've had tears etc. He is outgoing, bright and otherwise well behaved but should I force him to take part? I want him to, for obvious reasons, but is this being unfair on him?

Its the school play its extra cirricular he doesnt want to do it nobody is getting het up and its nothing like drawing jeez

user1477 "Well I still think it's important that children have the opportunity to take part in performances."

The OPs child ahs been given the opportunity...

"The shyer children don't need speaking parts. It's a right of passage and helps them in many ways."

A right of passage? In what way is being forced to stand on a stage in any way a "right of passage"?

I want him to take part because he's previously enjoyed it and it is a tradition - we are also regular churchgoers and has no such anxieties about being part of the crib service there. I suspect that the reason he won't take part is that he has several close friends who aren't and this is why he's reluctant.

I'm not going to force him, I never said I would.

FWIW, I was so terrified of getting onstage in one Christmas nativity (I was about 7-8) that when I did, I wet myself. I went on to become an active member of the secondary school drama club and took drama at college. I get that done children are just not happy doing shoes etc but it doesn't always follow that to make them take part will damage them irreversibly.

Forgot to add - this is the last year he will be given the opportunity as in years 5 and 6 they don't have a nativity at all.

Well- he was given a choice and he has made it. End of.

It's possible to do drama at college without ever being in a nativity play, it's perfectly possible to get a place at RADA without doing drama GCSE. Kids recover from all sorts of horrible experiences and humiliations - I can't see ANY benefit in making someone do something that terrifies them to the extent that they wet themselves on stage

I realise that fear doesn't seem to be the issue with your DS, but this is being presented as a voluntary opportunity. If he doesn't do this, maybe he will do something else with enthusiasm and good grace.

If he's happy to join in with the crib service then just be happy with that.

'He is outgoing, bright and otherwise well behaved but should I force him to take part? I want him to, for obvious reasons, but is this being unfair on him?'

OP you asked if you should force him to take part.

Trying to stick to the choice his school gave him isn't bad behaviour either.

If you aren't going to force him why has there been tears?

I have an 8 yo DS, I am also church going. If he said he didn't want to participate I'd ask why out of interest but not in such away as would cause tears.

He was given the choice and has made up his mind. All you will be doing by forcing him is showing that you don't respect his decision when is comes to something as simple as exercising his religious freedom. He doesn't want to take part. If it means that much to you then you take part in the play instead.

Why on earth would you 'force him' he's being given a choice, I'd let him decide.

I think it's admirable that the DCs have been given the choice.