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Parenting

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Original poster

Calling mums of more than one child. ...!

42 replies

bradleybecky · 03/11/2016 22:48

What's a good age gap between no. 1 and no. 2? After your experience? The closer the better? Or do you like a bit of a gap? What do your think?

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LaContessaDiPlump · 07/11/2016 12:05

Mine are 13mo apart. It was hard work initially not exactly planned but I'm loving it now as they are properly good friends and similarly capable of understanding instruction/walking independently etc.

Obv we were very lucky that neither of them has any additional needs; doubtless we'd have coped but the tiny age gap would have made it much harder, I'm sure!

katienana · 07/11/2016 12:11

3.5 years between my two boys. My eldest was independent enough that I didn't have to lift him at all when I was pregnant. He's been quite good understanding when I need too see to the baby. Plus in nursery so I get some time to focus on baby/catch up on housework. It's actually been easier than I expected.
I've got a 6 year gap between me and my sister and 2 years between me and my brother (he is the youngest) we've always all got on well now were in our 30s and have 5 kids between us all 5 and under the gap is meaningless!

MrsSparkles · 07/11/2016 12:20

5 year gap here. A little longer than planned but I always wanted a big ish gap as DH works long hours and travels a lot, so it nearly all falls to me. So I wanted dd1 to be more independent before dd2 came along.

Dd1 has been great with her little sister but they're only 5 and 6 months.

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Juanbablo · 07/11/2016 16:14

First two are 2yrs 4mths apart and it was great. Really easy. They are close but they fight too. We number 3 when the others were 6 and a week off turning 4. That was harder because we had to be at school and nursery. When my big two were tiny we could do whatever we wanted and that made it far easier.

BirdsAndBlips · 12/11/2016 06:51

My two boys are 17 months apart (21 and 4 months old). Took 2 years to conceive DS1 and 2 seconds DS2. DH wasn't as available as planned when DS2 was born so it all fell onto me with no support and it was HELL for the first month. Not as bad as the last month of pg though. I didn't get the newborn experience at all with DS2 but DS1 barely registered his baby brother so that's a plus I guess. My next one won't be until they're both in school.

ReadyPlayerOne · 12/11/2016 06:56

DD was 2.9 when DS came along, though I had two mcs before becoming pregnant with him so we'd aimed for a smaller gap. My sibling and I have almost exactly 2 years between us so that was my aim. This gap has worked well and now they're 7 and 4 and both at school.

Robinkitty · 12/11/2016 07:02

18 months between 1 and 2, very hard work and a lot of arguments but nice for them to have each other, they are a bit older now and it's nice to hear them chatting to each other about what's happening at school and when they do get on it's lovely to see.
7/8 years between them and no.3 also lovely to see them caring for her and how much they love her, so much easier with a big age gap.

didireallysaythat · 12/11/2016 07:02

4years 3months for us. No way we could have afforded £1600-2000/month at the nursery. Also meant my three month's maternity leave was during DS1 first term at school so he didn't have to be taxi-d to after school provision until he had settled in a buy which was good.

KateInKorea · 12/11/2016 07:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lookinatu · 12/11/2016 07:05

Ds 4yr just started school
Dd 12 weeks both August babies I didn't plan that. I like the difference as while ds is at school I can bond with dd.

TheEagle · 12/11/2016 07:06

There's 18.5 months between DS1 and DS2 and 1 minute between DS2 and DS3

That certainly wasn't planned!

The last 2 years have been a blur but as PPs have said you don't know what will happen fertility-wise so best laid plans may not materialise.

The hardest part of it all was being heavily pregnant with twins and taking care of an energetic 17/18 month old.

If (and it's a big big if) we thought we'd try for another I would certainly wait until DTs were at least 3 (they're 19 months now)

Pluto30 · 12/11/2016 07:12

DS1 and DS2 are 18mo apart.

DS2 and DD are 4 years apart.

DD and the DC I'm currently pregnant with will be 20mo apart.

I like both. I don't think I could've had three close together, because two were exhausting enough. But the "difficult" stage of close-togethers passes very quickly, and then they're friends. There's no jealousy, because the older sibling doesn't know or remember any differently. My sons are best friends. They do fight, but they're good at sorting it out themselves, and them being 4 and 5.5 when I had DD meant that I had a lot of time to focus on her, because they entertained each other.

They're currently almost 7, almost 5.5 and 18mo. It's great. I have no regrets about the age gaps. As I said, my DD will be close in age to our next (and last) baby. I would've been content enough not having a fourth though.

allegretto · 12/11/2016 07:16

I planned in 2 years and ended up with over 5! It's good in some ways but I wanted my sins to share s room but my eldest doesn't want to as he still finds his brother annoying. He has a point.

7SunshineSeven7 · 12/11/2016 07:19

I'm close in age with my brother (I think 14 months) so separate school years. However he was extremely badly behaved whereas I was a straight A student. All I used to ever get was ''Oh you're /his/ sister.'' And all he ever got was, ''7 doesn't do /that/, can't you behave more like her?''.

PITA for both of us. I feel like if there were 2/3 school years between us we wouldn't have been so badly compared.

TataEs · 12/11/2016 07:22

3 years.
it worked out nicely (after a year ttc) cos ds2 came along just as ds1 qualified for free hours at nursery, ds1 could dress, make a drink, get a nappy, listen to instructions, and understood sometimes he has to wait.
they are very different personalities tho and rarely play together, my oldest more tolerates the youngest, which can be tiring. ds1 is at school now so they're apart more which makes for more harmonious living and ds2 is at the age where he enjoys toddler groups etc so we can do those etc.

MrsMillions · 12/11/2016 07:26

26 months here but with DD1 July born and DD2 September that means 3 school years. DSis and I had the same school gap and it definitely seemed better for GCSE/A-levels in our house than friends 2 school years apart.

On a more immediate practical note, as I took a year off with both, DD1s 15-hour funding kicked in right as DD2 started nursery. This makes a massive difference to our finances, although I'm still only just in profit.

JC23 · 12/11/2016 07:29

My two boys are 10 years apart. It's great as the older one is much more independent and can even help out. And it's wonderful to watch how they love each other and play together. The older one just laughs affectionately when the baby hits him in the face, pinches him and steals his things.

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