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Would you leave a nursery for this? And how do I go about settling him all over again

37 replies

hearthattack · 25/10/2016 21:52

DS has just turned one. He's my first.

He's been in nursery three mornings a week for just over a month since I started working part time. The nursery wasn't our first choice but was the only one who could fit around my hours. I've had niggly concerns since the beginning but thought I might be being precious. Today I was actually really uncomfortable leaving him there. My concerns, chronologically, are as follows:
They seem to rely quite heavily on volunteers (all be it long serving and capable ones) for staffing. This makes me think they're more concerned with cost saving than child welfare.
They're due to relocate to new, smaller premises soon. Upheaval for DS plus suggestive of declining numbers?
They do no 'activities' with the kids. No painting, crafts, music, outings. Just seem to stop them killing each other while playing with toys inside and in the (concrete) 'garden'.
DS is vegetarian and they've accidentally fed him meat twice. His book says he's also had sweet and sour rice, angel delight and chocolate biscuits as part of his lunch. Their kitchen facilities aren't great and I wonder about the standard of food in general.
My friend sends her child to the same nursery and I know she has stipulated dummy only at nap time. Whenever I've seen her there she ALWAYS has her dummy in.
Today when I dropped him off, it being half term, they had some older children there. There were three babies (between 8 and 12 months at a guess) two 3ish yr olds and four primary school aged children ( youngest about 5, oldest at least 10) all in the same room. There were only 2 members of staff.
When I picked him up it was chaos . He was sobbing and strapped into High chair with no food I front of him. When they saw me coming they rushed him out and said he needed his nappy changing. His nappy has obviously been dirty for some time (seepy, smushed around). He has nappy rash for the first time ever. The staff seemed obviously struggling and it took me a long time to calm him, he was so upset.

My employer has agreed to change my hours so I can do fewer longer days rather than five short ones. This means we can go to our first choice nursery (lovely staff, age appropriate rooms, big garden with animals, sensory rooms, great kitchen and brilliant local reputation).

Am I being precious to move him? Will he be happier in the long run? How do I help him cope with the change? Should I do anything else to report my concerns?

He is a sociable, out going, very smiley little boy . We had a couple of tearful moments when he first started but he's not a particularly clingy baby and makes friends easily.

Also, I'm going to have to take him out of existing nursery quite quickly to avoid paying another months fees up front. Do you have any experiences of nursery's coming down hard on these situations? I don't want them to take it out on him! What do I tell them?

Sorry for all the Qs and epic post. I don't know how best to handle this.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
cowssheephens · 25/10/2016 22:22

I would pull a sicky!

Pastaagain78 · 25/10/2016 22:25

You are not a crappy parent. Follow your gut, moving him is the right thing to do.

mummarichardson · 25/10/2016 22:31

Leave, sounds awful in comparison to my sons nursery.

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T0ddlerSlave · 26/10/2016 22:19

Sympathetic to your reasons for leaving but Unless you think they have breached Ofsted, they can take you to small claims for your month fees. It's clear breach of contract.

Ilovewillow · 26/10/2016 22:37

You are not being precious move him, it sounds awful! I would also agree with others and report to ofsted.

Ohdearducks · 26/10/2016 22:50

Do not let him go back.

I am a nursery worker.

JosephineMaynard · 26/10/2016 22:57

I'd move him. All of the points you've mentioned would worry me. It sounds like a terrible nursery in comparison to the one DS2 goes to.

helensburgh · 26/10/2016 23:00

Always go.with your instinct

Ankleswingers · 26/10/2016 23:01

Move him 100%. Contact ofsted as well.

Pumpkin2010 · 26/10/2016 23:05

Move him & report them. Obviously they don't have enough staff. This doesn't sound safe.

Made my stomach turn just reading your post as I'm leaving DS2 come December & I'm not 100% sure re: the nursery but it's me being 'picky' as I know they're a good nursery. If it was anything like the one you'd described my son would never go back.

leccybill · 26/10/2016 23:05

Sounds nothing like the pretty bog standard nursery DD went to, which has carousels of exciting activities every day and children across 6 age appropriate rooms, oh and no volunteers.

I'd think about letting Ofsted know about your concerns.

Allatseainthemidlands · 26/10/2016 23:29

I'm an ex childminder- I would remove your child immediately. I would tell them why. In writing. If they are snotty about notice I would simply say that they have breached their contract with you by failing to care for your child adequately or as agreed (list the failings). They would be mad to sue you for the notice period - but if they do counterclaim for breach of contract.

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