I feel a bit of a fraud even asking this but the friends and family I have spoken to think I have a case but would like to know what impartial people think. I have been in pain (varying from bad to agonising) for 14 months in my back/pelvis which just last week got diagnosed as sacro-iliitis and throchanteric bursitis - areas of rheumatoid arthritis. I was 3 months pregnant when the pain started. I now have an 8 month old giant (24lb) of a son and the pain is dibilitating. I am awaiting test results where they can give some indication of my future prognosis. I struggle to lead a normal life, and I struggle to look after DS in the way I would want to and do the things with him I had always hoped I'd do e.g. physical play. By this time every day I'm fighting back tears in pain lifting him. I have been prescribed more pain relief and this is under review. So far it has made no difference. I know I must be patient. BUT - if I had no dependents I could probably cope ok. But because of my responsbilities for DS I simply am struggling to cope. My friends/family have suggested I look in to things like getting a blue badge so that when I do things like take him to the doctors I can park nearby and not have to walk a long way which requires me heaving the pushchair out. But would I be eligible for this? If I didn't have to carry DS/lift a pram out of the car I wouldn't need it (although it hurts to walk). Basically I CAN do everything in day to day living it just causes me extreme pain to do so. I make myself do most things for the sake of my son. Is there help out there I can get to help with the practicalities of caring for my son? If so where do I find out about them? Will people just laugh in my face as I feel like a fraud as I CAN physically do the things I have to it just is so painful and makes it worse? I'm feeling so down and want to channel my frustration in to getting on with life and making it easier so I can get my life off hold and start coping but every time I try to think about the future and living like this I end up in tears (like now!). I feel like I've been handed a life sentence but feel guilty for feeling that when there are people out there who cope with far worse. Sorry this is so long! I'd be grateful for honest opinions on whether or not it's even worth purusing things like a blue badge etc - I mean if you saw me park in a disabled space and carry my son out wouldn't you think "she doesn't look disabled" - does pain count or do you have to physically be unable to do that?