6 year old - behavioural problems?

[bananasmoothie]

My 6 year old is getting to the point where he's out of control, he's constantly cheeky to people, even people he doesn't know and if he's with his friends he will play up in the street, run off, go into peoples gardens, last week he even ran ahead and opened up a salon door, shouted something in and then ran off again.
He's terrible at school, he's only in year 1 but already he has a behavioural report card...he's only one of two kids that has one and the other kid has real "problems" at home etc.

At his open night last week the teacher said she was at a loss as to what to do with him as nothing seems to bother him, she sends him to sit on his own and he still disrupts the class, she sends him to sit in with another class with a male teacher and he plays up again...even though the kids in the class are older, it doesn't bother him.

He's becoming a bully, pokes people and constantly irritates the people around him, he shouts out in class, runs around, acts silly etc etc... he missed a full playtime yesterday as he kept being sent to stand on the wall for misbehaving and everytime he was allowed off he did something else!

The teacher said she is concenred that already he is making a bit of a name for himself in the school, all the teachers know him, parents have been asking for their children to be "watched" near him...I honestly can see him being suspended sooner or later.

He's just the same at home though, nothing bothers him. I'm a single parent but he does see his dad once a fortnight (but isnt bothered about the threat of me telling him about his behaviour), I have another son who is great, never in trouble...so why him? Could he have a medical problem or is he just a brat? What can I do?

Yesterday the teacher told me that another teacher had gotten so angry with him (he'd been told off 3 times before the register was taken) that she shouted at him and he stood there and laughed!

Any help would be appretiated.

The shouting out etc not understanding consequences sounds like it oculd be worth considering ADHD.

Is he very impulsive?

I'd also get him on some decent fish oils (but try and give only omega 3 to begin with- omega 6's can make hyperactive type behaviours worse in some children).

Hi bananasmoothie

I had similar problems with ds1, he is 11 now.
I wouldn't like to diagnose him as all children are different.
Many problems occurred with the Year 1 teacher, I was forever called into the school.
In Year 2 his teacher was fantastic and recognised his behavioural issues and inattentiveness. She called me in and asked whether my son could be observed by an educational psycologist.
I agreed, it took up to a year for a full diagnosis, but he was diagnosed with ADHD.
He is on medication during school hours and he is doing a lot better.

HTH

Crispy duckX

Hi, I've just replied on your other thread.

Thanks for the replies

I'm not sure if he understands concequences well, yesterday for instance I went to the bakery in the morning and told him that if he was good at school all day he'd get his treat on the night time, he apparantly was a right pain all day so coming out of school I reminded him that he'd lost his treat because of it and he still played up all the way home diving around, annoying people etc and then still couldn't understand why he didnt get the treat when he got home.

The teacher said he is very ingelligent when he decides to do his work, he's one of the top kids in the class for actual ability but they can't sit him on the right table (higher ability table) as he's too disruptive so he gets sat on the lowest table where he doesn't cause as much damage or on his own.

When I ask him why he behaves the way he does he tells me that he "forgets" to be good. He's not as bad with his father as he is with me but he apparantly still plays up a bit even though he's quite imtimidated by his "stricter" partner.

Sorry - reading this back I've realised it is rather long ....

I would suggest that you make a double appointment with your Dr. that only you attend. Note down your concerns before you go. I set mine out for DS under three headings.

The Good
The Bad
The Ugly

and talk it through with your GP. This also gives you a chance to tell the Dr all his good points so GP has a balanced view of your concerns.

GP should make another appointment for your son to go back for observation and this allows the GP to observe him discreetly whilst chatting to him generally. Then the GP may write recommending a referral to a specialist childrens unit and he will be called in for an assessment with a child phychaitrist.... (useless at sp!)

This will lead to an initial session talking to you (whilst observing your son) and taking down lots of background detail about your family and medical history.

You will get semi regular apppointments, which will give you moral support and help you realise it is not your 'fault' whilst giving you both goals to hit at home - reward charts, talking about how friends treat each other etc. At some point DS will be tested (an observational test paper that the school fill in and another than you fill in). Just attending these sessions made DS (also 6) realise just how serious we were about his behaviour issues and that we were seeing the Dr because we cared about him and didn't like seeing him told off all the time.

We have been down this route and DS now takes high doses of Adult strengh EyeQ (and it has been marvellous). he was on a per lesson report card for a term and a half was well but as he got his behaviour under control this was stopped. We have never let the Dr give us a formal diagnosis (BUPA only fund until diagnosis but he can be kept under observation for years via BUPA ). In our case a formal diagnosis will not get him additional help in school in terms of funding for teaching staff (not that he needs it) I really don't want him labelled so am very happy to keep him in pre diagnosis for a good while yet.

Our Dr is not sure if it just his age and personaility or if he has a behaviour problem, he may be borderline a d d ...

I kept the school fully informed of the situation but have never discussed it with other parents at the school. They school are very supportive and his behaviour has definitely improved - so much so [puffing out chest with pride] he was awarded the highest good behaviour award possible last week which involves go up on stage in assembly to collect the award and everyone clapping.

Don't be scared to get help early.

Good Luck