Should there be a Parenting Licence?

[Imafairy]

I've often thought, and it's been further ratified by:

this

and this

that people should be required to complete some sort of test before they are allowed to take care of poor defenceless little children.

It makes my blood boil when there are some many MNers who are trying desperately to have babies, to then read stories about people who obviously couldn't give a toss about their own kids.

(There is a big flaw in my plan in that I have no idea how on earth a parenting test / licence would be implemented, but humour me!)

Discuss.

its hard isn't it, i know a couple of ex herion addicts who were on methadone (sp) and they realy turned their life around after having their dc and they were being constantly monitored in one way or another by ss and health visitors. Yet i know of another mother who when her dd was growing up wsa completely stoned all the time and couldn't be bothered to teach her girl to read (she didn't go to school) but she never got bothered by the ss. People will always slip through the system whatever system you implement so i guess its up to the whole communtiy to look after the children in it and if anyone suspects anyone of abuse to tell the appropriate authorities, but then what do you do if they are incompetent/ ineffective?

i think there should be something in law that parents have to sign when they have a baby if they want to be able to keep it. something simple like you suggested in your second post imafairy. that might make everyone focus more on their responsibilities and make it easier for children to be taken away from them. i'd like to see more monitoring too. i know this would lead to more of a surveillance society but there's nothing that needs more protection than a small child. i know this is simplistic but it amazes me there isn't soem sort of commitment in law already, just as there is when you marry someone. it could also make it easier for abused/neglected children to take their parents to court. i'd also like to see refuges which children where children could go to escape their families. i have heard of a woman who has tried to start something like this but i'm too lazy/busy/knackered at the moment to try anf find it on the internet. if anyone wants help with doing something like this i'd be pleaed to help, have done this sort of thing before (but not as good)

I think a lot (although not all, and presumably by their very nature the worst cases) of the problems would be solved with a much better and broader support network for parents. We value our privacy but if we had a change in our cultural thinking that meant we were happy to accept support and suggestions then we could have a system where we have more contact with people who have greater experience. But many of us feel better qualified than our HV's etc so we don't utilise the system that is in place. I'm not being very eloquent but I think if society as a whole was more of a COMMUNITY then a) fewer problems would arise because more parents would feel supported before they reach breaking point and b) all parents would be in a network where potential problems could be picked up earlier on.

Absolutely not. It is not up to governments to dictate who can reproduce and who can't. Yes, it's a tragedy when these things happen. But unless you have a crystal ball it is impossible to know who would make a good parent or not and what the outcome for the child would be. Whose criteria would you use?

I would rather work towards a society were people knew one another better, talked to one another more, helped one another out and to some degree interfered in one anothers lives, than a society where the possibility that someone might be a bad parent was dealt with by an impersonal and beuracratic process like licencing. It feels like a step in the wrong direction to me. Quite apart from the impossibility of who gets a licence and who doesn't - I mean think of the fuss every time limits are discussed for IVF treatment...

You can tell poeple who strt these have had minimum contact with the people who would be implementing these thing

Like the ed psych who suggested we lock up ds1 (he has AS) in a room to keep him safe

And they haven't seen the caseloads of the social workers either

One of the best parents I know were a coule who had SN themselves. They had support every day (mainly by HomeStart, which is where I got to know them) but apaprt from help with the basics- lunches etc- they were excellent.

PArenting, beyond the basics is personal: I think Jools Oliver is nuts taking tubs of veggies to chidlrens parties because I think that kids need to learn about moderation. She or I are not bad parents though, just a different ones. I'm crud at remembering the bookbag- but my kids are very secure and get loads oft ime doing things like sledginga nd crafting and hugging.

And then its almost de riguer to encounter idiots who point you to parenting classes and accuse you of beinga crap aprent whilst you are en route to getting a child diagnosed with SN! What then? Remove their licence?

"I think there should be something in law that parents should have to sign when they have a baby if they want to be able to keep it".

And do people honestly believe that if you signed a document saying "I promise to love and cherish my child" or words to that effect that that would stop people from abusing their children? Every year hundreds of thousands of people vow to "love honour and cherish until death us do part" and sign a document to that effect, doesn't sttop husbands from beating their wives/partners cheating on one another/40% of marriages ending in divorce though does it?

whatever system was implemented, those who wanted to abuse it, would.

No it's a really stupid proposition tbh.

Bump.

"whatever system was implemented those who wanted to abuse it, would"

yes, i agree, but not all those who are guilty of neglect or abuse "want" to do so. i am hopeful that there would be less abuse and neglect if there was more monitoring, etc, and whatever the difficulties in implementing some sort of "licence" and the possible curtailment of parents rights, it would be worth it if children's lives improved, even if there were just a few less cases of abuse and neglect.

imho ( and it is just opinion gained through experience, influenced by working at one time with criminal and excluded children)the status quo is not acceptable. something has to change.

i don't know much about children's legal rights, the place of the family in society, etc, and would love to study this. maybe then i'd change my mind, but i still think that the present situation in which children are suffering on a huge scale is not acceptable

I still maintain that you cannot predict who would make a good parent. There is no perfect blueprint for a good parent. We all have our own approaches. There are already things in place to deal with extreme cases. Sometimes the system doesn't work perfectly and mistakes happen. However, I would hope that in the majority of cases the system does work. It doesn't help the ones who need that help to swamp the available resources with suspecting every parent of abusing their children.
Children are abducted and murdered but nobody afaik is calling for monitoring of every adult on the basis that they might be a child abducter/murderer. Why target parents specifically?

No, it's a crap idea and unworkable for all the reasons Colditz cites.

I think there should be more education and support available for new parents though, when I had ds he was the first baby I'd ever held. I wish mumsnet had been around then, it would have changed my life in those first couple of years.

It would'nt work, no matter what is done there will sadly always be children being abused, you even hear of foster/adoption parents who have gone through the whole 'will you be a good parent tests' abusing the children in thier care.

No of course not. We would all fail in some respects.