Just need someone to talk to

[Kati3emilyx]

Everyday is just the same waking up to my son, looking after him then going to sleep I don't see friends go out with anyone i feel I have no friends because ever since I had my son I don't. My sons father has nothing to do with his son and goes out partying the lot has a job but refuses to pay anything for him but then again I'd rather just have him far away as possible. I hate my life nothing changes I have no one to talk to, I feel everyday is just flying by like it means nothing the most I do to go out is to take my son to some places to play or do some shopping that's it I feel I will never find anyone who's going to want a 18 year old mum and a 14 month old child? I just want some of my life back some friends some people in my position just something to make my days worth getting up to I love my son more than anything but sometimes I just wish I could be a teenager again where I could just go out when I want whenever I decided nothing to keep me seeing and meeting new people I feel ill never meet anyone my life's boring I hate waking up and I hate going to sleep it's like a never ending pain, there must be other people who feel trapped in this circle I have no idea what to do to make my life just that little bit better.

Where are you in the country op? If you are in N. Yorks would be happy to meet up and chat. (If you want to be seen with an old bag of 35 )

Have you spoken to your local health visitors? They may be able to recommend some suitable activities to get you out and about and meeting other mums.

I live in the UK and no I haven't got in touch with them don't really talk to anyone and if I did live in new York I'd happily meet you for a chat!

Sorry, that's me confusing you. I meant North Yorkshire. Sorry Kati.

Honestly, get in touch with your health visitor, they are a good source of info. I found mum's and baby groups run by churches to be really welcoming too. (I'm quite shy and can freeze in social situations) In my experience they don't try to push religion on you.

My bad I read it wrong, and im the same I want to socialise and meet new people but find it hard to also, thank you for the advice

No worries Kati. Have you tried Mumsnet local? There may be a group of Mnetters meeting near you.

Also, it doesn't really help with someone to talk to, but this thread might at least reassure you that you're not alone.

Also, I understand Netmums has a better local section than Mumsnet (don't tell anyone I said so ). I k ow several mum friends who found people local to them to meet up with.

Blasphemy, Out! Hang your Mumsnet username up and leave by the back door.

Yes, Netmums is good. Also Facebook has a group called Mummy social. Might be worth you joining.

You are definitely not alone, Kati. Being a parent can be a lonely business.

Do you have family Kati? My sons gf is 19y with baby of 16months ( not together now) I look after her overnight and all day once a week to help give her a break. It is hard for you....but your not alone. Try to find some toddler groups....My daughter 32y...feels similar to you she has a toddler and 3 month old baby....Being a Mum can be lonely, wish you were near me. I would help you ......xxx

Yes I have my family but my mum does give me a break sometimes on the rare accusation but not nights I maybe get a hour or so or my mum will feed him in the morning to let me have some sleep, but I never really geta whole night or day to myself and thank you for the advice could do with meeting some others in my position x

I'd agree with trying a church baby group, in my experience they're very welcoming and more informal than some others.
Also check if you have a children's centre near you and what groups they offer. Ours has a group specifically for younger parents so you'd be able to meet people in a similar situation.

It's so full on. Being a mum is relentless isn't it! It gets easier when they are a bit older though.

I would suggest ...

Going out for a walk daily. Half an hour or an hour. Endorphins can make you feel so much better. Exercise

Contacting your health visitor and saying you feel a bit isolated and can she tell you what's out there for young mums. There's bound to be something suitable and other women in your situation.

Try and concentrate on meeting new friends in the same situation rather then finding a partner.

Be kind to yourself. This hard bit will pass.

I know 3 wonderful women who had babies as teens. They are all in their 40's now. One trained as a teacher and travels extensively with her son during the holidays, two met new fellas and had more kids in their 20's/30's (one is working for herself, other is a home carer).

Have a look and see if you have a Homestart near you.

I used to volunteer for them. They try and match you with a volunteer who has faced similar circumstances, hold family get together days and trips out.