Im so so thankful for all our blessings and really do feel quite guilty for complaining but im going to anyway!..
Does anyone else find it hard?
I work full time, dp works full time (although when I say he works full time he has ridiculous time off, hes a military musician and although (thankfully) he is paid quite a good salary, most days he has to be in work for 10 and is finished by 2 - brilliant because he gets to collect dd from cm early alot to spend time with him or if not has the time to do errands: banking etc that im unable to do cos in the office all day. Anyway, to cut to the chase, I sometimes just find it so so hard!, I feel awful for complaining because I know mothers who work full time with more than one child and don't have the luxury of having a husband or partner with the time off that my dp has, but..... God, im so tired, today - perfect example - dp and I got up at half 7 so we could get dd into bed with us for a big cuddle before work, up by 10 to 8, rush..(cos as usual, should have got up earlier) breakfast for dd, dress her, have a quick play, get myself half presentable (aarrgh cant find anything ironed!!), dp changes car seat from his car to mine, he rushes off cos works further away than I do, wash dds face, teeth, hands, brush hair, put on coat and hat, grab her bag (thankfully organised nappies, food, clothes etc the night before), get her into car, struggle with damn straps and back killing me when bending because it has never been the same since I was pregnant, drive to cm's while singing "twinkle twinkle" over and over again at the request of dd (15 months), drop at our fabulous cm's, bring dd and bag in, go back and get car seat and leave in cms (incase they go on a trip), quick chit chat, kisses and cuddles for dd, rush back to car, now running little late (have a 10oclock meeting 30 miles away and traffic usually ridiculous), stop at shop and grab coffee cos havent had time for breakfast, get lost trying to find the fecking offices for this damn meeting, finally find it, thankfully on time, quite a tough meeting, lots of complaining - goes on til 1oclock, rush back to car (my office is 50minutes away), go to mcDonalds (i know, yuck!) drive through for burger because so quick, run into tescos and grab nappies cos nearly out, fly back to office, get in, LOADS to do cos missed out on precious time at the meeting all morn, trying to catch up, ring to talk to dd on phone, dp rings to ask info about solicitors etc (we are building a house), leave office 10 mins early (at 20 past 5), dp has already collected dd, get home 6oclock, house like a bomb hit it-as always!(even though spent hours cleaning last night?!wtf?), sit down and play dolls with dd, sing songs, prepare and give her tea (and myself), get her ready for bed, read a story, have cuddles on couch for half an hour, tidy the mess in her room we made playing before I put her to bed at quarter past 8,dp goes to a conference(is doing his degree through part time education) put on two loads of washing, fold, etc, clean all kitchen, bathroom, read post, lay out dds clothes for the morn, pack her bag, clean out my car because in big mess, sort out bills to be paid, sitting down at 9.15 (on mn)so thats over 13 hours non stop going and still have to read through a HUGE document from work asap to make myself familiar with, and grab a shower, will get to bed prob after 12 and the whole thing will start again tomorrow, weekend will be spent cleaning, trying to catch up on everything I cant do cos at work and of course, spending time with my little girl...
on top of that, as Ive said, we are beginning to build a house, ive just finished an evening course (Thank God) which still tired from, planning our wedding (for next year)......sometimes the pressure does overwhelm even though I know im soooo lucky.
I suppose what my question is is does it get any easier? is "starting out" the hardest time and does it get easier as you get older? (im 21, dp is 23, dd 15 months) or if not, any tips on how to relieve some of the pressure? im never going to give up work for to countless to mention reasons so thats out.
Any advice or success stories would be hugely appreciated!! and im so so sorry for such a long winded post.... thank you